TheBanyanTree: Waning Friendship

[NancyIee at aol.com]

There have been time in life, when the intensity and intimacy of "best  
friends" fades.  When I was a school girl, and my family moved across town,  or 
out of state, to my young mind, there was nothing worse than parting from 
my  best friend. Oh, such weeping, such mourning. I hated my new school, had 
no  friends, and could not wait to get home and call my best friend and tell 
her  everything. Of course, as time went on, we both got busy, made new 
friends, and  the phone calls dwindled until we were lucky to talk once a 
month, or on  holidays, and eventually rarely at all.
 
Since then, friendship throughout my life have bloomed and faded as  
distance or time or just a difference of opinion caused the weakening of  
friendships. Perhaps having a family and adult purpose made the need for such  deep 
friendships less.
 
But, since I am of an age where family duty is nearly nil, the need for  
close friends comes again to the forefront. Since my divorce, I especially  
needed companionship and the closeness of a best friend. And, when one  
developed, and seemed chiseled in stone, we decided to move in together, for  
financial reasons as well as companionship. For years, we meshed, tolerated our  
differences with grace, and found enjoyment and comfort in having someone 
to  share interests and activities and gossip.
 
This time, there was no moving away or change in lifestyle that caused the  
ending.  It was mere time. I could not say with honesty that it was even  
the differences wore us both down, though time also made it harder to be so  
graceful about them. We did develop new interests, new goals, and perhaps 
those  things shifted us a bit apart. I can not put my finger on it, but 
eventually, it  was decided, mutually, I might add, that parting was in the best 
interest of us  both.
 
A bit of weeping, a bit of mourning, for the closeness that ebbed rather  
than the actual parting. She will move to her own space, not too far away, 
for  we vow to remain friends, best friends if possible. Perhaps our being 
alone no  longer frightens us as it might have done before. Perhaps it was 
simply time,  and the intensity of the friendship merely faded.
 
So, my dearest friend, as we slip apart into our new lives, I will remember 
 the love and the joy we shared. I will treasure and keep the secrets told. 
I  feel privileged that we had years of a closeness not felt in marriage, 
but only  between women friends.  You will always be my best friend, whether 
we  connect daily, or once a month, or hardly at all.