TheBanyanTree: Two Years

[NancyIee at aol.com]

I always enjoy your postings. Perhaps, "enjoy" is not the right word, for I 
 sit and think about your words, sometimes read them again. Your insight 
reaches  in, and makes me aware of all I have now, all I have lost, and how 
each has  changed my life.
 
I recently became fully aware of the loss another has endured, and I am  
wondering what to do, if anything, about it. My ex and I have become friends;  
better friends than we were spouses. I suppose that knowing each other so 
well  made being friends easier. We knew the faults, the places to avoid. One 
thing  good about being friends with someone you divorced, you no longer 
have to fret  over the little crap that drove you apart. We don't have to put 
up with each  other, we have a nice meal or movie, say goodbye, and leave 
all the irritations  where they lay.
 
We were together too long, and still are part of each other. I know his  
passions, the things he dislikes. I know his silences and how he sounds in his 
 sleep. When we look at the movie menu, we know exactly what the other 
might want  to see and what to avoid. 
 
In our parting, I lost something of myself that was part of "us." Like  
losing a limb, or sight in one eye. It's a damn nuisance, it can be endured,  
it's a handicap, yet the world is not the same.
 
I read your postings, and I remember my parents, and the losing of them. I  
remember friends who either passed or moved away out of our circle. I 
believe  that every loss takes something of us away with them. The part that was 
"we".  New friends, new lovers, new adventures can somewhat fill the gap. 
But, I wonder  if we are truly ever whole again.
 
NancyLee