TheBanyanTree: Bats Without Belfry: Nap Elsewhere.

[LaLinda]

I was sleeping in this morning since I was up in the middle of the 
night, but at least I made it interesting by watching Mad Men, again.  
I'm still a little shocked that Don seduced his secretary and Glen, the 
neighbor boy, is just plain creepy, even if he is only 10.  Or whatever.

Anyway, about 7 AM, a text rings in...glad I put my phone on the night 
table.  I do that because our kids seem to have forgotten the phone 
number we've had at this house for, oh, 12 years. To be fair, they only 
lived here for 11 years.  Anyway, the text, from daughter, Christine, read,

"You up?"

Christine. Seven AM.  Am I up?  Three things which should never be in 
the same train of thought. This can't be good.

How I love it when I am right, sorta.  Okay, I always love it when I am 
right even if it does involve someone else's consternation.  I feel bad 
about that, as soon as possible, like immediately, or even tumbling on 
top of the smug, self satisfaction, so, don't worry I don't get to enjoy 
it for long, so it doesn't take root and make me a truly shameful human 
being.  Developed this dual talent in my youth under the over-scrupulous 
tutelage of my Irish-American mother, who did not follow this rule, 
herself, by the way.

""I'm glad you're up.  There is a bat in our apartment."

I'm glad that she's glad I'm up, since the only support I can give is 
moral, being 2 hours' drive away.

"A bat?  How'd a bat get in?"

"I found the spot, it has a buddy sleeping in a nook between the wall 
and my bedroom storm window."

"Well, every witch needs her bats!"

"I know.....  I like bats. I called Animal Control who said to call an 
exterminator, but I don;t want to hurt it, so I am waiting for 
maintenance to get into the office so they can come and deal with it.  
BTW, bats won't fly into coffee cans."

"And you know this, because?"

"When there was a bat in Beth's camp, her father tried to get the bat to 
fly into a coffee can so he could put the lid on it and take it 
outside.  We pushed it out of the camp with towels."

"Experience.  That's good."

"Animal control told me to go to the doctor and get checked out.  
Apparently, bats have tiny, needle-lie teeth and their bites can be hard 
to see."

:S

"And then, there is Maya (cat) who has been freaking out and ricocheting 
around here spooking the thing and ...what do I do about her?"

"Call the vet for advice."

"Oh, yeah.  Good idea." << Time when mother wishes she had a time 
machine to travel back 10 years so daughter can hear herself say to 
mother, "Good idea," an improbable concept at age 15.

"My bat experience," I say, "Is limited to when we first moved to Mont 
Vernon in New Hampshire on Kendall Hill Road.  My friend Shiela and I 
were going to walk to the top after dinner and my father called after us,

'Watch out for bear.'

Thought he was kidding, but later learned he wasn't after his run-in 
with a cooler-nabbing bear at Yellowstone which he felt compelled to 
chase down a hill in his boxer shorts int he middle of the night.  The 
bear was carrying a cooler like it wasn;t his first time."

"That really happened?"

"That's what they say.  Anyway, we didn't have bear trouble, but we did 
have bats diving at us on the way back down, at twilight"

Remarks of increduality form the other end.

"Bats don;t usually try to touch people."

"I don;t remember being touched, just worried they'd get in our hair, 
which was hippie long and thick."

"Ohhhh. Yeah. I really like bats."

"Well, maybe you should get a leedle teeny-tiny bat house where they can 
hang out, smoke cigarettes, play checkers and, you know.  Live the good 
life."

Silence.

"I have to go, I'll call you back."

Soon after the text appeared,

"Batty is out! Free! Alive!"

Don;'t you love a happy ending?  Now the bat's buddy is going to get a 
rude awakening.  :S  Nap elsewhere!