TheBanyanTree: In Like a Lamb

[Margaret R. Kramer]

8/16/05

Hi Love:

 Finally got some stuff to do at work----------worked until 3:30 some damage
repair, seems someone cannot go through a door without hitting the side. So
I had to repair the door frame and paint it. 

  If you work fast does that make the day go by faster? If so then I will
work until dark every day and then YOU will be HOME sooner! Needless to say
I do not like this job where you have to leave me alone with the dogs and
cats. 

  I come home and the dogs go out then they go back in their cage and I am
alone. I try to eat then watch the ball game----------------but even there I
can't say HEY! GOOD PLAY! because no one hears me. 

  But I know that YOU will be back as soon as possible! 

Love you too much! 

Ray and Geo.

 

Unlike New England, March in Minnesota is coming in like a cold lamb.  It
was cold this morning, below zero just a hair, but the sun is out, the wind
is down, and even though it's not near freezing, the sun's rays are becoming
strong enough to do some serious snow melting.

 

It's hard to believe it's March already.  Wasn't it just Christmas?

 

So what did I do with myself on this March Sunday?

 

I took a shower.  Shaved my legs and armpits.  Had breakfast and read the
paper.  Got the spaghetti sauce going in the crockpot.  It's going to be
spaghetti madness night.  I got the cheese and onion bread going in the
bread machine.

 

I took out the trash.

 

I went to the gym and was offered an opportunity to die, but I found I
wasn't ready to.  I was listening to Don McLean's "Bye Bye American Pie,"
and striding like crazy on the elliptical, when I began to feel very
lightheaded.  I could have kept going, pushing my heart to the max, but I
slowed down, lowered the resistance and the height, turned down the music,
and decided to stay here.

 

I do that sometimes, almost unconsciously, to see how much I can tolerate.
I was really bad after Ray died and would really get my heart beating too
fast, but I rarely do it now.  What happened this morning was a surprise.

 

I sat in the sauna after my work out.  That's my favorite part.  I love the
feeling of heat, of the sweat rolling gently down my body.  I shut my eyes
and either think of nothing or let my mind fly while enjoying the quiet of
the sauna.

 

Last week I was in the sauna with a naked woman.  Most of us wrap a towel
around ourselves, but she was sitting in the sauna stark naked.  And she had
a great body.  She was slim, with perky breasts, a nice muscular back, good
arms and legs.  If I looked like her, I would sit in naked in the sauna,
too.

 

I told Joe about her and he was quite interested in her perky breasts.
Silly man.  Actually, he has a great body for 70 years old.  His skin is
smooth and muscular.  His legs are unending and slim.  His arms are strong.
His butt is gorgeous.  His fingers are long and delicate.

 

Then I look at my body with its sagging breasts, cellulite filled thighs,
and loose skin under my arms.  My skin is beginning to age, getting that
icky wrinkled look.  My face's crevices are getting deeper and more
pronounced.  My chin is drooping towards my chest.  No amount of plastic
surgery would help me.  It's sad when I realize that I can never recapture
my young body again.  There's a point of no return, and I've reached it.

 

After shower, after getting dressed, I remembered to bring my boots since
the snow is deep, and I headed out to the cemetery.  It was busy, for
winter.  There was a group of people around a grave further up in Ray's
section.  The man next to Ray died on 3/1/08, and there were footprints
around his grave and a fresh bouquet of tulips.  

 

I forgot to bring something for Ray, but then I remembered I had a wallet
full of coins.  Ray loved collecting coins and I have his collection in a
safe deposit box.  I fished through the coins and found a penny, a new
nickel, a dime, and a quarter.  As I walking towards Ray's grave, I noticed
someone else did the same thing, left the coins on top of the tombstone.
Great minds think alike.

 

I drove by Alice's niche on the way out, but even though Joe had been there
the day before, he didn't leave anything.  Sometimes he leaves her a rose.

 

Joe stopped by this afternoon and left off some BBQ ribs and cole slaw.
Asher and the boys devoured that for lunch.

 

I took a nap, which I rarely do.  It wasn't a great nap, mostly dosing.

 

And now it's time to get ready for dinner and mentally prepared to begin the
work week again tomorrow.

 

And see how March 2009 develops.  While it exit like a lion?