TheBanyanTree: Thoughts Not Spoken

[Carolyn]

Thoughts Not Spoken

Early years allowed
no questioning
of mother's word or dad's
no conferring with a sibling
when in doubt.

She would not discuss it
and his response
heard many times
never argue
with your parents

     ===

On my own at last
in the Real World
where one's opinioons
are listened to 
and considered

Then comes a husband 
and Wedded  Bliss
but Time soon takes
the bloom off
that rose

This isn't fact
we're dealing with
just opinion
sharing our thoughts
could be so interesting

Agree to disagree?
that's a problem
no never, ever, lady
your opinion isn't mine
it isn't right

I learn to bite my tongue
keep my counsel
think my thoughts
fight the wavering question
of self esteem

   ===

Another time, another love
and soon another crippled ego
thinking all variant words
are a threat
to his fragile manhood

Such a waste
of time and energy
to breach the rage 
with words 
that satisfy

And once again
my counsel's kept
my thoughts not spoken
Life loses it's keen edge
with ideas curbed so tight

The soul has limits
and must survive
it can't go on this way
Now solitude will be 
my only companion

    ===

Then one day it dawns 
there is another world
where thoughts are spoken 
agreed with and disagreed
no false posing, fragile egos

This world a small group 
with lively intellect
making me thankful for
feeling free
to speak at last.

Cj 

 © May 22, 1992 

Carolyn Johnson