TheBanyanTree: Random

[NancyIee at aol.com]

My  security lies in my isolation, an isolation that is not unpleasant and  
is
often necessary. Without the occasional isolation, I wouldn't survive in  
the
world. It'd be too much for me, all at once, and I'd implode with the  
strain
of it.



You are not alone, Monique,
 
While at home I was the eldest of us six, and had bold charge of my  
siblings in directing their play, etc, at school, I was the wallflower. a really  
late bloomer.
 
Even now I tend, like you, to wait in the background until a small space  
opens up where I may say a word or two.  My best friend is just the  
opposite, the belle of the ball, beloved by all after just a few moments in a  
group.  She has charisma and always knows what to say, and always seems  jolly 
and hugging everyone all the time.  That's not me, but I don't mind  being her 
shadow, and therefore, popular by her lead.
 
Yet, in my home (it's complicated, but the same best friend stays with me  
often, since she lives in a place with mega restrictions, and comes to my 
house  for freedom and R & R.  However, she was also a amrine, with her own  
rigidity. She leaves me notes taped around the house "please clean out the  
washing machine after you use it" since I sometime shave grass on my jeans 
after  mowing. Or : "please clean out the filter on the coffee pot after use" 
since I  often leave it in. It's really not one of my main concerns, that 
old grounds  might stain the filter thingee.
 
Meaning: she puts me in my place, and after I feel good being her shadow  
and getting leftover popularity from her own stardom.
 
But, I have friends at work,  and online, and a modest appreciation of  a 
few talents and characteristics of my own.  That's enough.  I am  comfortable 
in my solitude, and have way too many things to do to give it much  concern.
 
NancyLee
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