TheBanyanTree: Wallflowers and notes

[anita at redpepper.net.au]

Monique, your post was amazingly timely. Just this morning, I saw, at  
the bus stop, someone I worked with in the not-too-distant past, who  
proceeded to pretend he didn't recognise me. I'm neither achingly shy  
nor confidently extroverted, I'm pretty friendly and generally like  
and get along well with people. Therefore, while I totally understand  
that feeling of "I really don't want to talk to anyone I don't know  
very well right now", I still feel a bit offended if someone ignores  
me. And in a work context, having been a contractor in many firms over  
the last twelve years and having worked with lots of people in the CBD  
of Melbourne, I find it's not uncommon to pass former colleagues in  
the street - not all of whom will acknowledge me.

It's something I'm STILL trying to get used to, at forty-one years of  
age. I do have to remember that sometimes other people are also a bit  
timid about approaching someone they don't know really well and that  
if I swallow my fear of humiliation and approach them, it can be a  
very positive experience. Or that sometimes people are preoccupied, or  
tired, or unwell, or they might have forgotten my name, or can't  
remember how they know me - there can be a thousand reasons why they  
might not be feeling sociable - as happens with me, if and when I  
choose not to acknowledge someone in the street. It's not just that  
they think I'm a dag, or boring, or offensive! :0

But when all else fails, I know that I have many friends who love me  
as I am, as do my family (generally!), and of course my husband and  
daughter, and I think even my step-son, who continues to humour me  
even at an age where he could tell me to go jump. That's when I  
remember the people who I haven't contacted in a while to say  
hello...(Sal!!)

I don't love parties, by the way - I find them hard work, unless I  
know a lot of people there.

And Monique, I had to laugh when I read about your friend leaving  
notes around the house. I do that too. My husband tells me if he ever  
divorces me, it will be on the grounds of harassment by notes. Call it  
my control-freak streak. My stepson, though, generally seems to  
appreciate the lists I leave him, as he knows I'll leave him alone  
once he's finished ticking off stuff.  Even the lists where I instruct  
him to a) shower; b) eat 3 pieces of fruit or no pizza for dinner (and  
I know exactly how much fruit is in the house); and c) remember to  
wash your hands after going to the toilet - WITH SOAP.

Anita
xxx