TheBanyanTree: .........dust to dust

[mg]

My grandmother has knocked on death's door so many times and not wandered in
that I've begun to believe that she won't even need to knock when the time
is right.  She must have made a spare key by now; she's cagey that way.

Almost three years ago my Grandmother was pretty close to death; had come
through a surgery but her health had steadily failed and by the time I went
to Columbus, she was in a nursing home for recuperative care but it sure
didn't look like there was much to recuperate.  My mom was there, as well as
both of my Aunts and each sister's husband.  And me.  One evening, we sat at
my Aunt Mary's table which was heavy with a fine meal, albeit healthy, and
the wine was flowing.  And the conversation was easy and swung from sad to
nostalgic, not terribly unhappy; stories of their childhoods and memories
with their mom.  Then my oldest aunt, who feuds regularly with my youngest
aunt and which in between the two which my mother often rests uneasily, says
she wants a tablespoon of my grandmother to mix in with the tablespoon of my
great aunt, my g'mas sister, that she still has.  Seems when my oldest aunt
gave back my great aunt's ashes to the youngest aunt so that she could be
'whole' again....eh, seems she held back a nip for herself.  She had an
alternate plan.

Can you imagine?

My family is Catholic, feuds regularly, had had a decent amount of wine and
were contemplating the death of the woman who had brought them to life.
Well.  It sure wasn't pretty but it was definitely interesting.  Incredulous
lept to full attention.  Shouting commenced.  Accusations of present, past
and future sins all fought for equal attention.  I watched them; animated,
pre-grieving, postulating.  I heard them; angry, grief-stricken, panicked.
I knew without a doubt I could only have witnessed such raw emotion from
people I was close to.  It felt so intrusive, as if I could see around the
edges of their souls and felt their heartbeat in the pounding behind my
eyes.  The camera swung wildly from character to character and then panned
the faces of those there but not partaking which were me, the spouses and my
mother to some degree, caught in the middle of two opposite forces.  My
heart broke for my mother and I wondered what conversations would take place
and how civil they may or may not be between me and my brothers at a
similiar time in the future.  She eventually spoke and said some things
which eased the tensions.  Another call to the priest was scheduled.  We
finished dinner and my grandmother still lives to this day.

The plan as I know it and won't be questioning is to do as I've been told my
grandmother has asked; for her ashes to be snuck into the grave of my
grandfather as the cemetery has already denied this request.  So in the deep
dark of night, in a cemetery which is in the purported *worst* area of
Detroit, my two aunts, 68 and 65 at this point (my mom has clearly stated
she is not in for this) plan to go dig a hole in Daddy's grave and bury his
wife there so they can be together.

I don't know if my grandmother will be divvied up for last minute mixing
bowl shenanigans or not.  And I'm not asking.


Maria