TheBanyanTree: re-cap and exorcism

[Roger Pye]

It was a day like many others in September1992 when I met with my middle 
son, Richard, in a cafe in the small Australian town where I had my 
woodworking workshop following a phone call in which he had asked to come 
and see me. He would have been 26 years old then and it was the first time 
I had seen him since his graduation from uni some years before. Richard and 
I hadn't been on good terms since his mother and I had parted company ten 
years past but I could never work out why. I got on fine with my other sons 
and, indeed, with Sue as well but with Richard - well, it was like there 
was a block of some kind. My eldest son had said several times it must be 
that I wasn't a part of his brother's regular circile and so he didn't 
think about me. Privately I thought that was nonsense but of course I 
couldn't say so.

A little hesitant I pushed open the cafe door and entered, smiled at the 
proprietor behind the counter who I knew very well, glanced around the 
room. Richard  was sitting at a table towards the back of the room; he 
glanced at me and half-smiled in return as I went to join him. "How are 
you?" I asked. "Fine, Dad," he responded but his heart wasn't in it, I 
could see that. "Do you have a problem?" I questioned. He shrugged and 
looked out of the window. "I'll just get a coffee," I said.

Mug in hand I went back to the table and sat down. Polite conversation 
hadn't worked so I started again.

"You asked to see me. Why?" I asked.

He was quiet for a moment, idly drawing rings on the tabletop with one 
finger. Then he looked at me, deadpan.

"I'm going overseas next week, I'll be away about six months. I thought I 
should come and see you before I went."

Unwittingly I gave him the opening he was seeking. "It must be great to be 
independent  and fancy free to be able to do that."

"I'm going with Matthew," he replied. "He's my boyfriend, you see!"

Whilst part of my mind was remembering he'd met Matthew at university I 
said "Well, I hope you both have a wonderful time together. Where are you 
going?"

For a few seconds he stared at me then he said "You're not mad at me? You 
don't mind?"

"Mind? Why should I mind? What did you expect - that I would stand up and 
point to the door and say 'Go, darken my door no more!'? Richard, you're my 
son, I love you, I would never do that."

About two weeks later I was visiting his mother, I mentioned the meeting 
and what had transpired. She nodded, Richard had already told her about it. 
I asked her how long she had known he was gay. Since he was at college, she 
answered. Why hadn't she told me? She thought he should tell me himself.

Although he and I get on reasonably well today our relationship isn't 
brilliant and perhaps never will be but it's way better than nothing at 
all. In terms of Julie's heartache it's probably very small beer but maybe 
it will give her a little hope. That day in the cafe one of my dark clouds 
got edged by a silver lining. I think that one day when Seth is mature 
enough to realise what has happened to him, one of her dark clouds will 
brighten too.

Roger


Julie Anna Teague wrote:
> I am preparing myself for reaching the end of a long road.  Or a "T" in
> the road, at which point I must choose a different direction than the
> one I've been traveling.  I haven't shared all the turmoil here, but
> the "a thousand words or less" version of this story can be had in
> the following paragraph (you can skip down if you've heard it).  This
> is the last time I'm going to write down or repeat this whole story, 
> even in my own mind, because I have to move past the sick and sad story, 
> take what
> lessons are to be had from it, and move into the life that happens
> after the story.  So here, for one last recap, which is what New Year's
> Eves are good for:
> 
>