TheBanyanTree: It All Comes Down to: Santa is Watching

[Lalinda]

Last night as we lay in the spots we collapsed on the sofa in, my 
husband said, "Christmas sneaked up on me."

"I know what you mean," I answered. "The Advent wreath candles lulled me 
into a false sense of security.  To me, the last candle meant another 
week, not 4 days."

"Ah."

Well, the gifts are bagged, as of 5:30 this morning.  The house is 
decorated.  Our tree has no star, though.  The star is on the credenza, 
awaiting resuscitation after it refused to light up.  It had a very 
short life, say...3 years.  We are calling it back and telling it not to 
go to  the light, it's work on earth is not yet finished, but so far, 
it's ignoring us.

Our youngest, who is 17 and a real wise guy, insulted me before school 
the other day.  "What's wrong with you?  Why do you only have 2 
fingernails polished?"

"Well, I was/ interrupted /and then other things jumped and cut in front 
of nail-polishing so it lost its place in the queue."  Never mind that 
he has never seen nail polish on me in his life, so this is a new 
experience for him, no matter how faulty. 

"Well, that's just stupid," he philisophisized.

"I don't think Santa likes it when you call your mother stupid."

"Well, Santa is a moron."

"I know that Santa doesn't appreciated being called a moron, so if I 
were you, I'd remember that Santa's elves are watching.  And listening."

"What are you saying?  Are you saying that I am going to get coal in my 
stocking?"

"I didn't say that, I just said that Santa doesn't appreciate..."

"Santa is a jerk!"

"Now I know Santa will take exception to...

"I mean really!  If I am going to get coal in my stocking, I am going to 
be seriously ticked."

"There may still be time to reverse the karma you're bringing down on 
yourself."

"Has anybody really ever gotten coal?"

"Absolutely.  Grandma got coal in her stocking one year."

"Really?  She was that bad?"

"You should have known your grandmother.  You'd understand."

"She got no presents?"

"I don't remember the story very well, but I think she got her presents 
after everyone else did."

"That's mean."

"You're mean."

"No, you're mean!"

"You're meaner and...Santa is watching."

=8o