TheBanyanTree: Taser Teaser

[Woofie]

Last weekend I dragged MM (MuscleMutt son) down to Corrigin for a
Meet-the-Family session.

Our family is extremely dysfunctional...we rarely see each other and
seem to be scattered all over the globe. Despite this geographical
separation, we have always been very close. I have often wondered if
we subconsciously subscribe to the "familiarity breeds contempt" tenet.

Anyways, in an effort to appear normal by getting closer to each
other, we have been corralling stray family members in a little
country town called Corrigin. Corrigin is famous for two things - the
Dog in a Ute festival and the Dog Cemetery (which is provided for dogs
who fall out of utes and suffer a demise).
http://www.corrigin.wa.gov.au/doginaute
http://www.corrigin.wa.gov.au/tourism/attractions.html

Corrigin was selected as a corral due to its proximity to Number 2
rabbit proof fence and trap. The rabbit proof fence is an infamous
Wozland erection. Long fences - thousands of miles- were
build to divide the western side of Wozland from the rest of
Orstralia. Officially built to keep out  uncouth Eastern Australian
rabbits, unofficially, they were Wozland's answer to the Great Wall of
China - to keep out New Zealand shearers and riff raff from the
Eastern States.

Unfortunately, because of the Wright Bros, planes were invented and so
Kiwis and Eastern riff raff were able to fly over the fences.  The
fences were abandoned, but the traps (small fence lined squares) and
parts of the fences were maintained for historical purposes. The traps
still have a function - they are perfect for trapping Tasmanians!

As our family comprises of a very large number of Tasmanians, Corrigin
was picked as an ideal location to collect them:) This has been very
successful and efforts are underway to trap at least another 4 of
them.

So, having managed to lasso MM in mid flight from Singapore to
Melbourne, I handcuffed him to the cab of the ute and we set off to
Corrigin. Unfortunately two of the rellies managed to burrow under the
barbed wire trap fence and escape for the weekend. Luckily, however,
my sister was too slow and we managed to catch her:)

We spent a very pleasant Saturday down at the Corrigin Club, enjoying
a wine tasting event and a birthday dinner for one of our friends, who
has managed to reach the ripe old age of 60 - poor ole bugger - he is
a bit doddery but hasn't gone senile yet.

While we were tucking in to dinner, the local cops (all two of them)
stormed into the club, fully weaponised AND.. AND ..WEARING TASERS!!!
Now, in Australia, cops do wear guns, but not usually tasers as
well..and in Corrigin?????

Corrigin is a mild mannered, sleepy little town, where a serious crime
is the stealing of the Police Station's sign for a joke.

So what were the cops doing raiding the club in full swat gear?

It did not take long to find out....

Two of the town's most respected and most ladylike matrons started a
violent brawl! This was unheard of in the town's long history! I tell
you folks, it was really gory and messy!

What was even more shocking and horrific, was the cause of the
brawl...

They were brawling over MM!!!!!

Both of them wanted him for their daughters! One matron had even run
all the way home and back again to get photos of her daughter to
entice MM. I know that there is a severe shortage of eligible
bachelors in small rural towns like Corrigin, but surely this
behaviour is excessive!

Thankfully, the dust settled and the town's matrons were not arrested.
However, they should both thank their lucky stars that they managed to
avoid arrest...they only remain free, because, with the Police Station
sign being stolen, the cops no longer know where their police station
is located!

  

-- 
Best regards,
 Woofie                          mailto:woofie at woofess.com


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"The one constant in life is absurdity" - Woofie - 30/4/02
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