TheBanyanTree: TheBanyanTree Digest, Vol 63, Issue 8

[TLW]

Okay, clearly this is something I am missing in life.

I have never, ever talked to anyone about my poo.  Except an occasional doctor.

I have been married, I have lived with several people.  I live with
someone now.  Poo has never been mentioned.  So far.

Am I missing a touchstone of intimacy?  Errr.  Do they feel they could
never get close enough to me because I didn't report to them the
current poo situation?  Is it not enough that I will talk about my
hopes and dreams and fears and spiritual doubts and longings?

Hmmm.  I do hear that after a certain age, it's all about the poo.
But that's because, for some, it is then the biggest, if not only,
event of the day.

Is this (another) one of those things that people share regularly that
is just not in my repertoire?

xox
Sidda

On 12/6/08, thebanyantree-request at lists.remsset.com
<thebanyantree-request at lists.remsset.com> wrote:
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> Today's Topics:
>
>    1. Rounding a Curve and Shameless Plug (TLW)
>    2. Re: Rounding a Curve and Shameless Plug (Jena Norton)
>    3.  Long Week (Monique Colver)
>    4. let's talk about out poo (David Seaman)
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 15:04:23 -0800
> From: TLW <tlwagener at gmail.com>
> Subject: TheBanyanTree: Rounding a Curve and Shameless Plug
> To: thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com
> Message-ID:
> 	<e634922c0812051504n73d3d1ffl9d30774f1928889d at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
>
> It's always feast or famine.  LOTS going on, or little going on.
> Actually, since I hit the half-century mark, it's been much more
> balanced.  Or perhaps I just don't freak out at the excess of activity
> or grieve the lack of it.  Yes.  That's it.  I'm better at Life now.
>
> I am headed to Texas for Xmas -- the first time in 20+ years.  To see
> my Dad in the nursing home, to visit with cousins.  I won't see either
> of my crazy, bitter, brittle sisters.  Which is (part of) what has
> kept me away for so long.
>
> Extended family is still family.  But, I admit, you have to behave
> yourself to make the cut in my life.  The sisters would sniff and I
> say I hold a grudge too long.  I would smile, nod, and say, "I can
> understand that you might see it that way.  For my part, I believe in
> holding people responsible for their actions.  And unless and until I
> see different behavior on their part, I'm fine(r) without them."
>
> Note the signature.  I've started a new business, which is great fun
> and great art and practical, too.  The website and etsy site both get
> additions nearly every day, so for those who want to watch a thing
> grow, please stop by regularly.  If you see something you want, let me
> know.  You all get discounts.  For helping me keep my sanity during
> the loneliest times. . .
>
> We are quite the bunch, being together so long.  And so intimately and
> honestly.  Are we more sensitive because we are writers?  Is it in our
> DNA?  is our group more prone to drama or trauma or hardship or
> conquests?  Or do we just tend to write about them?
>
> I'll think about this as I earn my health insurance checking groceries
> at the local Trader Joe's this weekend.   I am so lucky to have that
> job, which is fun, active, social, challenging, and secure.  And who
> could have predicted such a thing?  that I'd like a blue-collar job
> like that that much?  Sometimes you just have to keep trying things.
> And stop and enjoy it when you find yourself a little bit happy.  :->
>
> xoxo
> Sidda
>
> --
> Tender Loving Work
> astonishing handmade gifts
>
> tenderlovingwork.com
> &
> tenderlovingwork.etsy.com
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 2
> Date: Sat, 6 Dec 2008 08:01:18 -0800
> From: "Jena Norton" <eudora45 at sbcglobal.net>
> Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: Rounding a Curve and Shameless Plug
> To: "'TLW'" <tlwagener at gmail.com>,	"TheBanyanTree"
> 	<thebanyantree-remsset.com at lists.remsset.com>
> Message-ID: <001e01c957bb$e0f233c0$a2d69b40$@net>
> Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="US-ASCII"
>
> Your scarves are beautiful--and I look forward to seeing more "stuff."
>
> As for sisters, I can understand. I have one and she's the reason God lets
> me choose my friends. It was not until I was older that I understood how she
> had gone out of her way to put me down and hurt me. For many years, I was
> almost estranged from my parents because I believed what she told me. And
> they believed what she told them. But as things have a way of doing, the
> truth came out and my parents did many things in their later years to try to
> undo what she had done.
>
> Sidda, you have to do what you need to do for yourself. Otherwise, you're no
> good for anyone else. It's not holding a grudge, as I see it, or saying no
> to bad behavior. I see it as self-preservation. We work hard to get past
> some of the hurts of the past, so why would we willingly subject ourselves
> to more of the same?
>
> Yes, the tree is our spiritual home and the folks our spiritual family. Even
> when we don't post regularly, it's good to know they're there.
>
> Good luck with the business. Sometimes it's good to be shameless ;)
>
> Jena Norton
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com
> [mailto:thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com] On Behalf Of TLW
> Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 3:04 PM
> To: thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com
> Subject: TheBanyanTree: Rounding a Curve and Shameless Plug
>
> It's always feast or famine.  LOTS going on, or little going on.
> Actually, since I hit the half-century mark, it's been much more
> balanced.  Or perhaps I just don't freak out at the excess of activity
> or grieve the lack of it.  Yes.  That's it.  I'm better at Life now.
>
> I am headed to Texas for Xmas -- the first time in 20+ years.  To see
> my Dad in the nursing home, to visit with cousins.  I won't see either
> of my crazy, bitter, brittle sisters.  Which is (part of) what has
> kept me away for so long.
>
> Extended family is still family.  But, I admit, you have to behave
> yourself to make the cut in my life.  The sisters would sniff and I
> say I hold a grudge too long.  I would smile, nod, and say, "I can
> understand that you might see it that way.  For my part, I believe in
> holding people responsible for their actions.  And unless and until I
> see different behavior on their part, I'm fine(r) without them."
>
> Note the signature.  I've started a new business, which is great fun
> and great art and practical, too.  The website and etsy site both get
> additions nearly every day, so for those who want to watch a thing
> grow, please stop by regularly.  If you see something you want, let me
> know.  You all get discounts.  For helping me keep my sanity during
> the loneliest times. . .
>
> We are quite the bunch, being together so long.  And so intimately and
> honestly.  Are we more sensitive because we are writers?  Is it in our
> DNA?  is our group more prone to drama or trauma or hardship or
> conquests?  Or do we just tend to write about them?
>
> I'll think about this as I earn my health insurance checking groceries
> at the local Trader Joe's this weekend.   I am so lucky to have that
> job, which is fun, active, social, challenging, and secure.  And who
> could have predicted such a thing?  that I'd like a blue-collar job
> like that that much?  Sometimes you just have to keep trying things.
> And stop and enjoy it when you find yourself a little bit happy.  :->
>
> xoxo
> Sidda
>
> --
> Tender Loving Work
> astonishing handmade gifts
>
> tenderlovingwork.com
> &
> tenderlovingwork.etsy.com
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 3
> Date: Sat, 6 Dec 2008 09:38:29 -0800
> From: "Monique Colver" <monique.colver at gmail.com>
> Subject: TheBanyanTree:  Long Week
> To: thebanyantree at remsset.com
> Message-ID:
> 	<3567063e0812060938k5d74593dm89535879651b1a08 at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
>
> Feelings are messy things. Sometimes they're quite inconvenient, and I know
> that more than once, or twice, they've interfered with my imitation of a
> properly run life. I am a great advocate of Getting In Touch With Your
> Feelings, and the fact that it's capitalized should emphasize how very
> important this is. I write this with more than a touch of irony. Perhaps an
> economy size amount of irony, the amount you can find if you shop at Costco,
> where nothing comes in a small package.
>
> I risk the ire of experts when I say this, but cutting is, during those
> times, one of the least harmful things you can do to yourself. Stew cut, and
> it usually helped relieve the pressure and pain. If I were a cutter I'm sure
> I'd have a multitude of scars. Instead, I carry my scars on the inside. We
> all have scars somewhere, and I try to laugh at mine, it makes the edges a
> bit duller. Especially the funny shaped ones. They're highly amusing, if
> looked at in the right light. Sometimes this takes years. Some of them I
> ignore altogether in favor of peace of mind.
>
> Monique
> The daily blog:
>
> http://tiny.cc/MoniquesBlog
>
>
>   On Wed, Dec 3, 2008 at 9:48 AM, Dave <dseaman at prairienet.org> wrote:
>
>> Jan. 7th, 2008 at 7:20 PM
>>
>> Last week was a long week of anxiety and fear. I cut myself. I think the
>> anxiety was mostly associated with the lingering head cold that wouldn't
>> go
>> away, or would dissipate and then return in full force. Sunday morning I
>> woke up relieved of the anxiety, and it continued today. Common ailments
>> have been almost non existent since the onset of my mental illness - or
>> medications. It seems I get right to the edge of a cold, enough to become
>> very irritated, and then it goes away the next day. Not this time though.
>> Every month there is something new to learn.
>>
>> There is also the feeling that I'm on the edge of a depression episode,
>> but
>> it just doesn't rise to the surface. That should be a good thing,
>> clinically. But I worry about the parts of me that are suppressed by
>> medication. I don't run the gamete of emotions that I once did. That
>> should
>> be a good thing too, until I can fully manage my feeling. I dislike
>> feelings
>> really. Which probably is why I find myself in this current state.
>>
>> Dave
>>
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> Monique Colver
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 4
> Date: Sat, 6 Dec 2008 11:44:24 -0600 (CST)
> From: "David Seaman" <dseaman at prairienet.org>
> Subject: TheBanyanTree: let's talk about out poo
> To: thebanyantree at remsset.com
> Message-ID:
> 	<50937.98.214.97.47.1228585464.squirrel at mail.prairienet.org>
> Content-Type: text/plain;charset=iso-8859-1
>
>
> Sep. 21st, 2008 at 8:33 AM
>
> I'm firmly convinced that the reason people couple is so that they will
> have someone to talk with about their poo. The first morning email between
> Bonnie and I always contains a poo report. Too much poo, not enough poo,
> stinky poo, jalapeno poo. A poo is just a poo and isn't a real poo until I
> share the details of the poo with my beloved.
>
> The first reason people couple is sex, the second is then poo discussion,
> then the third is to have someone to converse with while dining out, which
> eventually becomes dominated by the topic of poo. If one person has poo
> surgery, like myself, well then, the couple is set for life. Early in a
> relationship conversations cover the details of past lives, romance,
> hopes, and dreams. Over the years, after everything is covered, and the
> couple grows weary of talking about people who irritate them, the
> discussions naturally turn to poo. Politics, passion, good books, and
> movies are discussed only after the topic of poo is fully exhausted. And
> even then a book or anecdote can also remind us of a poo incident.
>
> Last time I was in the hospital poo became a huge priority. It was over a
> weekend and I couldn't reach a doctor to complain about my poo woes and
> have some Benefiber ordered with my daily meds. Forget the fact that I was
> crazy and suicidal. Damit, their was a poo emergency. Eventually Bonnie
> had to sneak some Benefiber into my room. Now that is partner poo love. We
> were almost caught by the head nurse as we were pouring a powdery white
> substance into my morning coffee. We were not caught, and it might have
> looked like cocaine or heroin going into my drink, but an experienced
> nurse who could consider our age and how long we have been married, would
> most likely believe that the substance had something to do with poo.
>
> Just as a scientist would study a species in the wild by examining their
> poo, I think poo is a good indication of how healthy a relationship has
> become. If landscaping or aluminum siding dominate a couples conversation
> they may tire of such a superficial relationship. But when the topic turns
> to plumbing, toilet seat, and toilet paper, then the relationship is
> probably pretty set for the long term.
>
>
> Dave
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ______________________________________
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>
> End of TheBanyanTree Digest, Vol 63, Issue 8
> ********************************************
>


-- 
Tender Loving Work
astonishing handmade gifts

tenderlovingwork.com
&
tenderlovingwork.etsy.com