TheBanyanTree: Consortium Girls gone Wild!

[Bonnie Brace]

I was 18 when I married. He was 21. We were both in a fundamental religious 
cult. His background was drugs, sex and booze. Mine was Country bumpkin, New 
England never did anything, such as smoke, drink or drug. I wanted to change 
the world so when I graduated high school I joined the cult because I 
thought they had the answers. I became a Jesus Freak. that is where I met my 
ex. He went from Hippy dippy to Hippy Jesus Freak. We met I was 17 a year 
later we were married.

Spent 15 years in the cult following their rules, being a second class 
citizen (women were emotional creatures and could not really make good 
decisions. They needed a man as a "covering") In other words to protect 
them. (ugh) When we left it was a wake up call and for 10 years we struggled 
trying to adjust to the reality of what life was truly like. I adjusted, he 
couldn't. I thrived, he didn't. In the end he decided his mid-life crisis 
was to be 19 again.  I guess he never read Thomas Wolf.

It's been 8 years since the divorce. I am glad I am no longer married. I 
enjoy my freedom. I make my own choices and mistakes and am responsible for 
me. I have a man-baby in my life, but he doesn't live with me and I wont 
live with him. I like my space and am perfectly content seeing him on 
weekends and one week a year for vacation (his treat) I'm independent NOT 
stupid! I'm not going to marry again I got a taste of freedom and frankly I 
like having the bed all to myself.

My ex and I are still friends (why waste energy being angry) a while ago he 
apologize for all the things he said and did during the separation and 
divorce. He realized he had been wrong. He also said he made a big mistake 
getting remarried and wanted to know if I would run away with him to 
Seattle.  " HELL , NO!"   I said with out thinking. Realizing I might have 
said it a bit too fast  I tried to cushion the rejection a bit by adding " 
I'm in a really good place right now. I've moved on and grown. Do you 
honestly think I would want to go back to what we used to have? I don't 
think so."  to which he replied, " I didn't think you would."

I am so glad he's someone else's problem now, I still care for him but it is 
like you'd care for your neighbors kids, watch them for a while and when 
they are gone breath a sigh of relief and relish the peace and quiet!

<>>>>>>>>>>>>---------Bonnie

 ---- Original Message ----- 
From: "Sharon Mack" <smack58 at nycap.rr.com>
To: <wolfljsh at gmail.com>; <thebanyantree-remsset.com at lists.remsset.com>
Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 7:44 PM
Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: Consortium Girls gone Wild!


> Laura,
>
> That is EXACTLY how my mother was.  She loved my father and they were
> married for over 50 years before he died.  They had a good and loving
> marriage filled with mutual respect (not that there were never problems,
> mind you, but they dealt with them).  They had five children and raised 
> them
> well without abuse, and tons of love.  My mother never would have given 
> him
> up, ever.  It was just that once he was gone, she didn't want to do it
> again.
>
> Perhaps, had I chosen better, I would not be so disillusioned and cynical.
>
> Sharon
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com
> [mailto:thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com] On Behalf Of Laura
> Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 6:58 PM
> To: thebanyantree-remsset.com at lists.remsset.com
> Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: Consortium Girls gone Wild!
>
> On 29 Aug 2008 at 18:12, NancyIee at aol.com wrote:
>
>> Would your husband liked it any more if you had replied, "Oh, yes, on the
> way home from the funeral?"
>
> BWAHahahahaha!  I don't know - I'll try it next time he gets all maudlin.
> :)
>
> Just so y'all don't get the wrong idea... my husband and I adore one
> another.  He is the
> perfect man for me, and I am his perfect woman (at least that's what he
> tells me).  We are
> practically joined at the hip, and we both like it that way.  Really - ask
> anybody on this list
> who has met us!
>
> However, I love my alone time.  I always have.  I've never felt "lonely"
> that I know of.  I
> enjoy my time by myself, and I love having time with just the dogs.
>
> I have loved every moment of my married life (ok, there have been a few
> moments that I
> could have done without, but nothing we couldn't work out), but if I 
> should
> ever find myself
> alone, I will not go looking for someone to live with me.  :)
>
> -- 
> Laura
> wolfljsh at gmail.com
> http://wolfsinger.wordpress.com
>
>
>
>