TheBanyanTree: I'm So Hot

[Julie Anna Teague]

Quoting "Margaret R. Kramer" <margaret.kramer at polarispublications.com>:

> I LOVE juicy gossip at my work.  I work in a Dilbert-like environment, cubes
> filled smart people, self-promotion, and continual cat fights.

Wow.  I have to say I'm so grateful I work where I do.  I, too, work in 
an environment of cubes and office spaces filled with very smart 
people.  But they are also the kindest, most caring group of people I 
could ever hope to spend eight hours a day with.  We tease each other 
and joke around mercilessly--John is the butt of the lecherous old man 
jokes (no, he would never, ever step over the line or has ever made any 
woman at work feel uncomfortable--he's just a very funny guy), Mark 
gets the short jokes, Grant fields the nerd jokes, I get no end of 
"deer in the headlights" jokes, Ethan is as tall and skinny as the day 
is long, Wayne is a huge eater and we tease him about getting out of 
his way when we have food at work--but we are always kind to each other 
and we would never aim to hurt anyone's feelings or make a joke that 
was cutting or cruel.  We seek harmony as a way of living here together 
for the larger part of our days.

Even in the extended office area of about 40 other men and women, we 
are all friends, or at least tolerant of each other's idiosyncracies, 
and I've never heard anyone say an unkind word about another co-worker. 
  We might go home and complain to our significant others from time to 
time about something or someone who irritated us that day.  Every one 
of us gets on someone's nerves at some point or other in such constant 
close contact.  But in the office, we are kind and always supportive.  
If we knew someone was hot for a date, we'd probably try to fix them up 
with one.  If someone wears something unbecoming, well, we just don't 
comment on each other's dress unless we have something nice to say.  
None of us makes good choices every day.  We have all level of jobs 
here, some technical, some secretarial, so not everyone can afford to 
dress nicely all the time.  Most of us have differing ideas about what 
looks nice.  We are all different ages.  Some of us have life histories 
or health issues that make us skinny, plump, overweight, balding, 
pimply, or otherwise less than perfect.  One of the most beautiful and 
kind women in our office is very overweight. She's had a difficult 
life.  No one judges her by the size of her ass.  When she expressed a 
desire to try and make some changes for her health, several of us have 
asked her to walk with us, have shared exercise videos, have told her 
that if she needs new recipes, encouragement, a healthy lunch partner, 
we're here for her.  We want her to succeed.

I'm a 40-something, pre-menopausal woman, and I work with several women 
at the same stage of life.  We pretty much all go through it and for 
some of us, it's a difficult transition, what with our bodies in 
turmoil, and our sense of ourselves changing, and societal expectations 
reminding us that we should just disappear if we can't be beautiful and 
young.  I'm fortunate in that I have a life partner, but if I didn't, I 
suppose I'd be looking.  That has less to do with menopause than just 
the natural human desire for love and companionship, especially into 
our middle and older years.  We all want someone to be there for us.  
We all have fears that are sometimes hard to understand or explain even 
to ourselves, and which play out in our actions.  It's never easy to 
meet people, and it's a total bitch to meet someone when you're over 
40.  Especially when you feel like people are laughing at you because 
you are aging, because you aren't fashionable, because your ass is 
bigger than it was when you were 16, because you are tired from raising 
kids and working, or even because you have the audacity to look for 
love at that age.

Sorry if this sounds contrarian, but I just wanted to provide an 
alternative view of office life.  I'm pretty tired of working after 
holding a demanding technical job for twenty-five years.  But since I 
have to keep body and soul together through gainful employment, it is a 
great joy to me that the people I work with are wonderful, 
non-judgemental people.  One of my personal missions in life is to be 
non-judgmental.  My motto has always been, "There but by the grace of 
God go I."  It has served me well.

Julie