TheBanyanTree: September 1st, and moving

[Monique Colver]

Ah yes, Why Move? That is a good question. For twenty years, it was because
of the military, and with my first husband I was subject to their whims. Not
just THEIR whims, but his whims also. He was never happy anywhere, and
always thought that moving would change who he was. When I would say, "But I
don't want to move, I like it here!," wherever here happened to be at the
time, he'd ignore me and apply for a transfer anyway. Since then, I've made
moves based on being in places I want to be, and leaving places I don't want
to be, and so far I'm still with myself, wherever I go. It's true, each
place I turn up, there I am, all my old insecurities and foibles dragging
along with me, like stowaways. Always the stowaways. There are days when I'd
love to see a new person in the mirror, or there used to be, but not so much
anymore. I'd miss myself too much. This time I'm moving in search of the
traditional American dream. A new house with a yard, and an opportunity to
start his own practice for my husband. A house there is less than what we
pay for rent for a townhouse where we are now, and he can't start a practice
here because of contractual obligations. So we move on, part of our
evolution. And I can still hope for a new me, or if not a new me, at least
an improved me. So far, I have improved. There's always that chance. 

 

M

 

  _____  

From: NancyIee at aol.com [mailto:NancyIee at aol.com] 
Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2007 4:20 PM
To: monique.ybs at verizon.net; thebanyantree at remsset.com
Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: September 1st, and moving

 

How I identify with your posting.  I move. I change, Yet, I do not change at
all.  I only think I do and want to with each packing and new place.  I
exchange my life for another, and find another place. Yet, I drag not only
the heirlooms, the things of value, I drag it all.  I have cartons of
unmarked stuff I will probably never look at again, yet I stuff it in and
take it with.  I also take all of me that I should discard: the troubles and
self-crap, and the little junk such as my grandmother's ruby-red glassware
and a few pounds too many.  All, just junk.

 

Perhaps, when I move and change, I want to look in the mirror and see a new
person, as well. But, as one wise person said, my sister, "No matter where
you go, there you are."

 

I can change partners, but I do not dance any better.  I can change places,
but it's the same bookcase full of old books, old albums of the same past,
the same sofa and bed and little antique dressing table, the same face in
the mirror. I cannot get rid of any of it.

 

So, why move?  The hope, I suppose, that in the new place will be a new me,
a new life.

 

NancyLee