TheBanyanTree: I've been quiet

[Laura]

Monday, April 30, my Mom emailed the family to let us know my Uncle had had a stroke 
while driving the car, and crashed the car.  He didn´t seem to be injured in the crash (the 
EMTs couldn´t tell, but it turned out to be effects of the stroke, not crash related injuries), but 
the stroke was a really bad one.  How bad had not yet been determined.

They kept him on life support for a week, waiting for the swelling to reduce enough to 
determine the actual damage to his brain.  It is massive.  It seems the entire right side of his 
brain is dead.  The clot stuck in the center of his brain (the name of the artery eludes me at 
the moment) and stopped all blood flow to the right side.  When the brain swelled up, it 
pressed against his brain stem and impared all his vital functions.

My Aunt is still recovering from a major surgery she underwent on April 12.  She has open 
wounds which need to be kept clean and dressed.  The nurses and doctors warned her that 
she should not be in the CCU/ICU with open wounds.  She didn´t care - she was going to be 
with her husband come Hell or high water.  She has spent the last 12 days sitting at his 
bedside, holding his hand.

One day, he was holding her hand so tightly, his grip squeezed her ring into the finger 
beside it, and bruised her finger.  He would not let go.  She couldn´t even get up to go to the 
loo.

The doctors have been telling the family since the second day that he would probably never 
recover.  Tuesday, they decided to turn the life support off.  My Uncle is a devout Catholic, 
and he would not want his life artificially prolonged if it´s time for him to go see God.  So, 
they ventilator was removed.  The doctors told the family they didn´t expect him to be able 
to breathe without the ventilator, but once they pulled the trach tube, he took a deep breath, 
and has been breathing on his own ever since.  He cannot swallow on his own, so he has an 
NG (feeding) tube in, and an IV for fluids and medication.  Those will be left in, since 
removing those is tantamount to suicide, a no-no for Catholics, if you´ll recall.

He has moments when he seems lucid.  One day my Aunt told him, "I love you, I love you, I 
love you."  He opened his eyes, looked at her,  and mouthed,  "I love you, I love you, I love 
you."  Another time, he looked at her, and with his right hand (his entire left side is 
paralyzed), made the AmSL sign for "I love you."

Yesterday he seemed to wake up, and was trying desperately to communicate something.  
My Mom and Aunt were not able to figure out what he was trying to say, but he was saying 
the same thing over and over again, trying to get his meaning across.  Eventually, he lapsed 
into unconciousness.  Last night he was in a coma, and this morning was the same.  They 
are not expecting him to live for much longer.

But then, 10 days ago they were telling us he wouldn´t live another day.  As I told my son on 
the car ride home today, only God knows when it will happen.

Isn´t that true for all of us?


-- 
Laura
wolfljsh at gmail.com
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