TheBanyanTree: A Holiday Gathering

[Margaret R. Kramer]

Like most companies these days, ours puts off its holiday gathering until
after the holidays.  I think it’s easier to find a place and it’s a less
hectic time for people.  We didn’t have one last year, because the planning
occurred too late and our manager is a control freak, but makes decisions at
the last minute, so it was almost spring and didn’t make sense to have a
holiday party, so no party.

Two years ago, a major snowstorm occurred the night of our party, and Ray
and I didn’t feel like driving 20+ miles on slippery and snow packed roads,
so we stayed home.

So this was my first holiday party with this group.  We can bring our
spouses or “dates.”  The restaurant was in the suburbs, but easy to find.
The room was the right size, the service was excellent, and the food was
interesting and good.  Practically everyone came.

I hate things like this.  I’m a social misfit and freeze up in large social
situations.  I clung to Ray like I was sinking with the Titanic.  We didn’t
make our move to a table soon enough and ended up sitting by ourselves,
which is awkward, because we look like social pariahs.  I kept looking at my
watch, hoping the food would get served quickly and we could leave.

>From our table on the outskirts of all the fun, I watched my coworkers chat
and laugh and have a good time, while we sat frozen in nowhere land,
obviously the outcasts of the evening.

Finally, a couple of latecomer coworkers arrived and sat by us.  That was
better.  Ray and I had people to talk to.  The food came, the conversation
at our table got easier, and it was less of a stress for me.

Some people can work a room, but I tend to sit right where I am and don’t
move.  I can only move around if I feel very comfortable, which doesn’t
happen often.  I know I should take the initiative and walk around and talk
to other people, but I don’t want to bust into other people’s conversations
and also I don’t want to be frozen out.  Nothing is worse than coming up to
a group of people and then being ignored and having the conversation
deliberately exclude me, so I stay in the safety of my chair.

Dessert came.  We stayed a bit longer.  People began to leave.  It was OK
for us to leave, too, without looking like we were leaving too soon.  We got
our coats and headed into the cold, dark night to our car where we can be
ourselves and not have to talk and laugh and look like we’re having a good
time.  We drove back to the safety of our house where we could be introverts
together, where being social doesn’t matter.

The work obligation was met.  My extreme anxiety and stress were handled
without ramifications.  I can check the holiday gathering off the “to do
list” until next year.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at comcast.net

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the
starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and
brotherhood can never become a reality.... I believe that unarmed truth and
unconditional love will have the final word.
~Martin Luther King