TheBanyanTree: Monday Morning Blues

[maria gibson]

Randy came over Saturday and set me up, set me right up.  I don't have a
washer and dryer and don't care to have them.  I happily make my way to the
laundry room once a week with my three loads and get them all done at once,
usually on Sunday.  Coincidentally, there are two families here that have a
patio dinner every Sunday and they torture me with the smells of grilling
meat; I may one day ask for a plate to go.  The laundry room is around the
corner from the pool and the huge, gorgeous patio and the fitness and
computer rooms are on the other corner.  So, Randy comes over on Saturday.
He wanted me to have this computer, the one I've had for years and I agreed
to take it.  In a flash of inspiration I asked him to bring the first
kitchen table we ever bought some twenty-four years ago and still have, to
put the computer on.  In the laundry room.  Which is now the den.

I hung a picture to cover the washer connections and have a collage of
pictures of my family right above the computer.  I have pictures of the most
complicated person I've ever met on the table turned desk, a lamp over the
keyboard just the way I need it and my dictionary, plastic drawers full of
junk and small gifts from friends just a glance away.  I don't have an
internet connection but I can write on this computer, the one I have written
on for years, save to disk and make my way to the computer room to somehow
by cosmic internet magic, get it online.  I am so happy with this set up.

Ok.  My den has towels, a vacuum cleaner and potting soil in it.  Doesn't
everyone have potting soil in the den?  This may be my favorite room of my
apartment now.  There is no glare on the computer screen but looking right I
can see out of the porch door which is usually open.  I prefer it open, bugs
and dust be damned.  I'll chase the bugs and clean the dust, or not, but I
have to have the air coming in.  I need the light.  I can watch the
thingamajig that Pammie hung for me slowly turning in the breeze and can
feel that breeze at my feet.  I have had a computer in so many places, so
many corners and niches over the years; bedroom, kitchen, living room,
dining room.  Have shared an 'office' with Randy and had one of my own.
None by far compare to this, it is perfect for me.  I love my den.

I get up early in the mornings even though I don't have to be at work until
ten.  I stretch long in my Japanese style futon bed on the floor, take in
the slowly brightening light and eventually make my way to the bathroom and
shower.  Back in jammies, I put on water for coffee and open the door.
Today I opened several windows.  I just relax with coffee and cigarettes on
the porch and enjoy my slow emergence into life for this day, always the
most important one.

I usually put music on and watch my neighbors go to work.  I smile and wish
them a great day, chat with the ones who aren't a little freaked out by the
new neighbor, and hopefully send them off with a bit of happiness.  Today I
put on Nina Simone.  Years ago, someone on this list recommended that I get
some of her music.  I have just this one CD and enjoy it every time I hear
it.  It  makes me reflect and sometimes it's a reflection of sadness or
melancholy but those are a part of life, God knows a part of my life right
now.  I had sadness way down deep for a long time, loneliness while in a
houseful and kept up a face of happiness.  Now, I have a contentment for
myself and carry a lot of sadness way out front where it can be seen by all.

I am at the computer in my den.  I am listening to Nina Simone and enjoying
a wickedly strong cup of coffee.  I am soon to grace the porch to smoke but
I wanted to write and lo' and behold, the computer was right at my disposal
in the perfect location brought to me by Randy.  The set up master.  The man
I love.  The man I left.  Life is consummately complicated and I am swept
away by the tides and waves of it.  I dream of water, rushing water,
crashing waves; I always survive in my dreams and I know I'll survive.  A
writer should never utter these words but I say them now.  Words cannot
describe what is going on in my head and in my life but I promise I will try
more often.

You'll get more updates now that I have a den.

Maria