TheBanyanTree: Crash and Burn

[NancyIee at aol.com]

Been there, done that . .different story, but the same.

It has been in my many eons of experience, that iot isn't a sudden "I'm not 
getting the romance" thing, orr whatever the excuse or reason.  And, it may not 
mean another is giving that which is lacking.

Change is insidious, yet, everything and everyone changes.  We try so hard to 
be what the other wants, or think he or she wants. They want freedom, they 
want humor, they want closeness and appreciation. They want a good cook or 
someone who can do repairs. They want attention. They want provision. They want 
beauty and laughs and someone taking them seriously. So, guess what, you try with 
all your might to be all things.

But, it is never enough.  What made them love you in the beginning changes 
into what they think they want.  You are no longer the one they were first 
attracted to, but someone YOU think they will love forever.  You are no longer 
"you".  You have become what they think they want.

If that makes no sense, it still is true.  It doesn't make the hurt less.  
Forever and then some, you wonder if you had tried harder, if the other had 
waited a little longer, if you had known earlier . .if . . if .. if.

No reason but lack of reason to stay together.

You will survive.  That which does not kill us . .makes gun-shy.  But, you 
WILL survive.   You WILL find love again.  If I did . . you will too.

That's the best part.  There is enough love in the world for some of us to 
ride more than once.  And . .the second.  .or third times are even better in 
many ways than the first.  We know more, first of all.  We know REAL from 
fantasy, most of us.  We realize how hard it is to make it last.  And, we realize how 
lucky we are to have love and no longer take it for granted.

May you survive with only a few scars, and may you soon discover yourself 
among the ashes.



NancyLee