TheBanyanTree: Friends and Moms and Monsters

[Pam North]

Somewhere around ten years ago, a friend from work, a guy who was something
of a 'computer geek', hooked up my computer and made it 'smart' enough to go
online.  Until then, my kids and I had just used it for games and as a
typewriter.  But he installed more memory and a modem, and I was ONline!  At
my little fingertips, was a big worldwide web!!!

Fortunately for me, this same guy was a member of a writing list, and he had
me subscribe to it.  I can still "feel" what it felt like to sit in front of
his computer, listen to the dial-up sounds, and read posts to the Spoon, and
try to sort through the confusion of who was who, and what they were talking
about!

He also introduced me to IRC and ICQ, and I was amazed to find myself
'chatting' with folks around the world!!  To include his brother's wife's
friend Maria, a woman married to a Marine, stationed in Japan.

And that was the beginning.

Sometime after that, Maria's family was making plans to move back to the
States.  She was going to be leaving early, to 'tour' the country and visit,
and allow her husband and two sons to pack up their household goods and
follow her back.  And during the same time, a 'Spoon-a-rama' was being
planned in Tampa, Florida.  After much discussion, it was decided that
Maria, who by that time would be at her mom's just twenty minutes away from
me, would be picked up and driven by me to Florida, from North Carolina,
since she wasn't comfortable driving on unknown roads.

A couple of days before the trip, on a whim, I asked my dearest friend
Carla, if she'd like to go to Florida with us.  She said she would.

And so, early one morning, she and I drove to pick up Maria, somebody we had
never laid eyes on, picked her up, and hit the road for a dozen hour drive.
And a friendship was born.  I opted early to sleep, so Carla drove, and by
the time my nap was over, those two two were fast friends, and I was left in
their smoke!!

Since then, the years have flown by.  We've gotten together on various
occasions, for a myriad of reasons, and we're always guaranteed a good
time.  Also, Maria has visited Carla without me, and usually (since Carla
herself moved to Florida), when Carla came to visit me, she would plan a
couple of days to go off and visit Maria as well.  Between the three of us,
we may not talk for months, and then get together, and it was like we never
were apart.

Until several months ago.

When the friendships took on whole new dimensions.  My friend Sherry would
say, we were exactly where we were supposed to be when we were there.  So I
guess, for all those years, while we were great friends, and even went on a
cruise together, our relationships didn't go that deep.  Good friends,
ha-ha, have some laughs, get along great, but don't go deeper.

Until several months ago, when we all went deeper.  And we started sharing
more about our real selves, the chicks under our skin and smiles.  I've been
wondering what took us so long.  While Carla has been in Florida, Maria has
only lived about three hours away from me.  But we usually only saw each
other if Carla was in town.  Why?  I've wondered, but it comes back to
Sherry... we weren't meant to be there then.  But we are now.

Through the years, and even these last several months, I've visited Maria,
and she's visited me.  But, except for once last summer when my son had a
track and field competition there and we stayed over afterwards, our
children had never met each other.  And I really hadn't paid too  much
attention through the years, to details about her sons.

Until I did.

Hmmm.... I have a daughter who's a senior in high school.  She has a son
who's a senior in high school.  WE could hook THEM up!!!!!  We even dreamed
of enough years passing - after college of course! - when we might allow
them to have sex TWICE, and give ourselves two *beautiful* grandbabies!!
(Oh yes!  We were out of control!!)

And so we started plotting.  She showed my daughter to her son's 'web/blog',
and they emailed.  She had her son send pics, and she had her pic taken with
my daughter to show her son.

Oh, but we were excited mothers!!  It appeared that they liked each other
and were getting along well.  They spent hours chatting together online for
the next few weeks.  They were trading details about their lives, with each
other, before we moms were even aware!!

And then, slowly, we reached the same conclusion.  As moms, we were out of
it.  It was beyond us.  Past making introductions, we had no part in any of
it.  Any plans and schemes of ours were overshadowed by the reality.  And
all we could do was sit back and watch.

So this weekend, I hauled both of my children to Maria's, for the big
'introduction', and then their 'big date'!  They knew, as moms, that we were
giddy with ourselves for being so manipulative and devious, so they
outsmarted us both, and planned their own time together *away* from us!!
They went off to dinner, and then later to a friend of his' house for a
gathering.

When they got home, with the whole house asleep, they sat themselves on the
futon-bed in Maria's computer room, and proceeded to talk themselves silly.
Until they fell asleep.  Dressed.  Together.  Which is how we found them the
next morning.  Asleep in bed together!!!!!

Oh yes.  As mothers we've been outsmarted.  We thought we were *so* cool.
We're not.  And, being totally unconventional, we took photos.  Of them.
Sleeping together.  How sweet!  Right.........

Can I just share, that right about now, Maria and I aren't thinking we're so
darn smart!  We're thinking that we've created a monster!  They're hugging
and kissing and holding hands.  Our BABIES!!!  We agreed they could like
each other, and hang out.  We never thought about KISSING!!!!  EEggads!!!!

I brought my daughter home with the A/C on full blast.  She made her son
stay home.  In a cold shower.

Maria and I are trying to decide whether we should laugh, or cry!!

Pam