TheBanyanTree: Thought you all would get a smile out of this. I did...and a few groans!

[ForTheLoveOfSoftware.com]

I would read the book that followed the statement on No. 4.  Thanks for
sharing

On 2/14/06, Sharon Mack <SMACK at berkshirecc.edu> wrote:
>
> Thought you all would get a smile out of this.  I did...and a few
> groans!
>
>
> Listed below are the 10 winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Contest,
> a.k.a. the "Dark and Stormy Night Contest," run by the English
> Department of San Jose State University, California, wherein one writes
> only the first line of a bad novel.
>
> 10. "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break
> wind in the echo chamber,  he would never hear the end of it."
>
> 9. "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."
>
> 8. "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned,
> unblemished oval face     framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep
> azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied
> for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that
> defied description."
>
> 7. "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept
> along the East wall:  'Andre creep...Andre creep... Andre creep.'"
>
> 6. "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism,
> was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon
> to become the woman he loved."
>
> 5. "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her
> from eeking out a living at a local pet store."
>
> 4. "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins
> often do."
>
> 3. "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the
> corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the motel floor."
>
> 2. "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the
> meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger
> and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal
> tendencies."
>
> AND THE WINNER IS.....
> 1. "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along
> the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle
> window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder,
> gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside
> her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming
> madly, 'You lied!"
>
>
>


--
Sandi Grandberry M.Ed.