TheBanyanTree: Dear Friend.

[Sidda]

Dear Friend.

I confess.  I can't figure you out.  That is, I can't imagine, really, what you are telling yourself.  

I know you were raised in a quiet upper-class white family.  Non-confrontational.  Passive-aggressive-passive.  Nice.  Polite.  No rocking the boat.

But is NOTHING worth fighting ffor in your life?  Not your career? Not your love life? Not your family? Work.  Love.  Family.  If you're perfectly willing to go belly-up on all these things... is there anything in this life that you feel is worth summoning up the courage to take a stand on?  You are so derisive about others "settling," and yet I see you do it over and over again.  I understand it's scarey.  I understand confrontation can be unpleasant.  But you would rather shoot yourself in the foot than make yourself vulnerable.  You'd rather go belly up than do your very, very best and then lose.

I couldn't live with myself.  I can accept anything as long as I know I have done my very best.  I admit, I have envied people like you.  Folks who seem to have an easy life.  I see now that your life isn't any easier than the rest of ours.  You just choose to abdicate on the hard parts. 

I still envy you, a bit.  But I would never want to be to be you.

Sidda