TheBanyanTree: Once Upon a Time . . .

[Margaret R. Kramer]

As I’m getting older, my ears are less patient.  I’m a “get to the point”
person.  I don’t want to hear the fluff and decorative adjectives and wild
verbs.  I just want to hear the gist.  Cut off the fat and get to the meat.

But it seems some people love the sound of their own voices and they think
everyone else does, too.  So they go on and on and on and on and on . . .
Their voices, to my ears, become like the endless buzzing of bees, as I try
to figure out how to get away from the drones.

I call these people “once upon a time” people, because they seem like
whenever they try to make a point, they have to start their stories from the
moment of their births and work their way, slowly but surely, with many long
and tortuous detours, until they reach the point where they should have
started twenty minutes earlier.  By that time, they’ve lost me in the
wilderness and haven’t noticed my eyes have glazed over with sheer boredom.

My team lead is one of these “once upon a time” people.  And he has an
unpleasant, droning voice, but he must feel its resonance is like a well
trained singer, because he can’t ever seem to give his voice a rest.  On top
of having a whiny voice, he also has to communicate very technical
information to our team and our client counterparts.

Instead of being concise and to the point with extremely boring technical
information, he begins his long-winded speeches from the time computers were
first invented and gradually moves into designing a system.  I have to force
myself to pay attention, because after all, he’s the one how provides me
direction on what to do, but oh, my gosh, it’s so difficult.  Sometimes,
when I know what he’s talking about it isn’t important for me to know, I
just walk away.  I can hear the clock ticking, ticking, ticking.

Our client counterpart is one of those who admit she “doesn’t have a life.”
Her job is her life.  If she could, she would have a cot in her office and
live there all the time.  And on top of that, she’s also a “once upon a time
person.”  Her voice is high pitched and whiny as well.  And she also LOVES
the sound of it, because she never stops talking.  We barely get in our
cubicles in the morning and she’s already calling us about some small
detail.  And as she talks, these small details become mountains in her mind,
which causes her to continue on her little bunny trails, hopping from here
to there with no purpose, trying to scale a mountain that doesn’t exist.

You can imagine what it’s like to get these two “once upon a time” people
into a room together and try to move forward on something.  A meeting that
might take more concise speakers an hour to complete, drones on for three or
four with these two.  Blah, blah, blah, blah.  Why do some people feel if
they stretch their time out, that it adds value to it?  I’m just the
opposite, if I can organize something efficiently and bring it in under
deadline then I’m accomplishing something.  So I try not to bang my head on
the table as I listen to these two wander down their endless verbal paths.

I realize we all have our different styles.  Some people need to talk about
their work with someone before they actually do it.  Other people, like me,
want to discuss their work briefly, and then get to it.  Both styles have
their advantages.

But the disadvantage for me is that I’ve long given up fairy tales and once
upon a time . . .

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at comcast.net

http://www.bpwmn.org
Business and Professional Women of Minnesota

kisses are a better fate
than wisdom.
~e. e. cummings