TheBanyanTree: The Night the Tupperware Lady Got Drunk

[Sharon Mack]

I've been saving this one until I had the time to read it.  Glad I did.
Funny stuff!  Got a good smile to start my day. :-)

Sharon

-----Original Message-----
From: thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com
[mailto:thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com] On Behalf Of JNorton
Sent: Tuesday, April 18, 2006 11:18 AM
To: TheBanyanTree
Subject: TheBanyanTree: The Night the Tupperware Lady Got Drunk

Way back when, I lived in the Atlanta equivalent of a New York
brownstone walk-up. It was in an area that was cheap but eclectic, to
say the least. Now it's expensive and trendy. My neighbor in the front
and dear friend was a charming, handsome, bright, and talented gay man
named John. We had many adventures together, but the night the
Tupperware lady got drunk was one of the best.

John got rooked into having a Tupperware party by someone, so he
invited not only gay and lesbian friends, but some of us straight
friends and neighbors as well. Since he was well-known for his
entertaining skills, most everyone invited showed up. The guests
included a lesbian couple, a couple of drag queens out of uniform,
some folks mostly still in the closet, some folks definitely out of
the closet, me, an alcoholic female neighbor, one of my hippie male
friends who figured there'd be food and drugs, and our androgynous
female neighbor and her boyfriend who resembled the cowardly lion in
"The Wizard of Oz."

The Tupperware Lady (TL) was this little middle-aged lady who hopped
around and chirped like a bird. She brought along a younger woman
dressed all in black, the Tupperware Lady Trainee (TLT). She was tall,
dark-haired, and looked like she could be in an Anne Rice novel.

The party was held in the living room. Just off the living room was
the dining room, with a table of munchables and a punch bowl that was
constantly evolving, The punch began as some kind of champagne punch,
I think, but in the course of the evening, it began to change color
and taste as new ingredients were added. And at the end of the hall
was the bathroom and a bedroom, which figures in the evening's
activities, but not for the reasons you might think.

First on the agenda was the TL demonstrating to the TLT how to break
the ice and get things going. She looked around the room and spied one
young man with almost no hair, something remarkable in the early 70s.
She asked him if he was in the military because of his short hair. We
all tried to keep our guffaws down to a polite titter, because this
kid was an apprentice drag queen and kept his hair short to make it
easier to wear wigs. At this point, I think she somehow got a
premonition that maybe this was not the usual Tupperware crowd. After
all, how many parties had she done where the attendees were mostly
male?

Meanwhile, refreshments were being served and libations poured. The
TLT gladly accepted all offering. The TL was a bit more cautious. She
would only drink a little glass of white wine, she said. Someone
spiked her wine with vodka because he felt she needed to loosen up a
bit and enjoy herself. And periodically, guests would excuse
themselves to go to the bathroom, but would also visit the bedroom,
where there was pot and maybe some poppers (amyl nitrate) available.
People returning from the bathroom were very happy people and even
more relaxed than the TL.

The TL had a game for us to play. She would hold up a card with a
letter of the alphabet on it and we guests were to say an adjective
that described our boyfriend or girlfriend. Originally, she said
"spouse," but decided none of us looked very married. Perhaps she was
even getting a clue at this point. TLT sure had it figured out and
made her way to the bathroom.

Back to the game. TL used the card with the letter "B" on it to show
us how it worked. When she asked for an adjective, someone from the
back yelled, "Bitch!" TL wagged her finger at the miscreant and
cautioned us not to be naughty or she wouldn't let us win a prize. And
an icy glare from John, who was a kind soul and feeling sorry for the
poor TL, quashed further inappropriate outbursts. At least for a time,
that is.

As the game progressed, there were some tense moments. Certain letters
taxed some of the guests' waning reserves of gentility. I still
remember the letters "C," "A," and "Q" had a few seconds of silence
before a socially acceptable response was given. And there were more
than one doting glance exchanged when one of a couple responded with
"adorable," "cute," or another glowing adjective directed at their
partner.

As the evening wore on, the TL continued sipping her spiked wine and
giggled a lot as she flitted around, demonstrating the products.
Meanwhile, TLT, reminiscent of the horse in "Cat Ballou," was leaning
heavily inside the archway between the dining room and living room.
She was heard to comment to a guest, "Best damn Tupperware party I've
ever been to!" as she raised her glass of punch in a toast to the
evening.

There were a few more moments of frivolity during the product
demonstrations. Comments were being made about the more creative uses
for some of the containers guests had found. John was urging everyone
to buy, buy, buy, because he wanted the big hostess gift. It was a
bull and matador statue, which if he had been sober, he would have
sneered at as being tasteless and so suburban. Fortunately, he didn't
have quite enough sales for the statue, something he expressed
gratitude for the next day when he was himself again.

The highlight of the evening to me was watching the TL attempting to
repack everything and get it in her Pinto hatchback. She just couldn't
seem to get things back in the boxes in the same order she took them
out. The bowls and such would not nest together, lids were flying all
over the place like Frisbees, and she was muttering darkly. Finally,
she sort of threw everything in the back, smashed down the hatch, and
drove off somewhat tentatively.

Jena