TheBanyanTree: Jeeves

[Spoonoid at cs.com]

Spoonoids:

       Do other people share our weird habit of giving names to inanimate 
objects and plants? When we moved into a new house, we planted four bushes along 
the front porch and named them Joan, Janice, Jean and Jennifer Juniper. A 
small tree in the front yard became Bruce the Blue Spruce, one near the driveway 
was Clare Boothe Spruce, and the tiny one in the back yard we called Toulouse 
la Spruce. We owned an old Dodge we called the Whale, and a Chevrolet we called 
Vlad the Impala. And our lamp timer, Jeeves.  
       Sometimes a named object will take on a kind of personality, or earn 
some distinction through loyal service. We were reminded of this the other day 
when we arrived home after dark, and noticed that the living room light was 
not on.  Sometimes this means the power has gone off in our absence and the ligh
t timer is late by however long the outage was for. So I went behind the sofa, 
picked up the timer and turned on the light with the manual switch. It looked 
like the time setting was still correct, but I didn't fool with it because we 
were in a hurry to make dinner. 
       The next morning when we woke up, the living room light was still on. 
It's supposed to go off at 11:30. "Uh-oh," I said to The Princess, "I think 
Jeeves may have died."
       I took him down to the garage, found a screwdriver and removed his 
case. Sure enough, the little bakelite tab that pushes the switch when the timer 
cam goes by was broken. (Does anybody manufacture things with bakelite 
anymore?) I could tell at a glance that repair was not an option, so that spelled the 
end for our faithful downstairs servant. 
       I owned Jeeves for a long time. I don't remember when I bought him, 
but it must have been sometime in the 70's. However, I do remember that before 
Jeeves I had an El Cheapo lamp timer that kept me awake. All night long I could 
hear its little gears going RRRRR-rrrrr-RRRRR-rrrrr. This I found irritating, 
so I went out and bought a more expensive lamp timer made by General 
Electric. It was a fine product that made no sound at all (except for a pleasant click 
when the light turned on). So it eventually earned its own name.
       Many a time in the late afternoon when we were sitting in the living 
room reading a book or taking a nap, the table lamp would come on 
automatically. When that happened, one of us would say, "Thank you, Jeeves." 
       Now, 1970 something to 2005 is more than thirty years of faithful 
service, and Jeeves died on the job, with no expense for a retirement plan or 
medical insurance. What a faithful servant. Can you find them like that any more?
       May you rest in peace, Jeeves.

Later, John.