TheBanyanTree: Say It Ain't So

[Sharon Mack]

No one has EVER said it better.  You are right on, right on, right
on...but I am afraid it will never happen.  Some folks just don't get
the honesty thing re relationships no matter what.
 
Sharon

>>> Maria Gibson <mgibson7 at nc.rr.com> 11/20/2005 11:54:15 PM >>>

"Aw, com'on, Maria...I thought you were tougher than that.  Some things

are better left unsaid."

First of all, no, I'm not tougher than that nor am I much tougher than

just about anything.  I am actually pretty tender-hearted and prone to

feeling everything that is out there.  I say up front what I feel and I

say up front what I want.  I, therefore, feel up front an avoidance of

contact when just previously there was more actual direct contact than

any avoidance of it.  And I feel an upfront hurt about it when it not 
only comes to an abrupt halt but when it is done silently.  No, I don't

know what that silence means and, no, I shouldn't be left to figure it

out for myself.   And crap like "Whaddya think of this here weather?" 
and "How about them Panthers?" and "I just had a shart and don't have a

change of underwear." are all good examples of things better left 
unsaid.  "I've changed my mind about seeing you for (blank) reason." is

an example of something better said as soon as it is known.  Best said

face to face but even in the absence of faces, it should be said rather

than unspoken in the dire hopes that the unsaidee will just magically 
know what the dealio is.  Because, trust me on this, she won't.  I have

actually even requested right from the gitgo that this tactic not be 
used on me, only to have it smack me down.  I swear, I don't get it.

Can I just let all boys everywhere in on something?  It's going to hurt

to be honest.  Yep.  I am likely to get a shaky voice and might even
let 
it show that I'm hurt.  That hurt is easier than the other unkind kind.
 
The kind that leaves me guessing and then wondering what I have done
and 
then recounting everything I ever said or did trying to figure out
which 
thing it was that was so bad as to make another human being disappear 
from the face of the planet.  That is some magic trick, friends, and
I'd 
like to know how to not make it happen.  And I know this isn't just me

and my special circumstances because my single friends tell me it 
happens to them as well.  So, aside from me deserving bad treatment,
bad 
treatment is being spread about randomly and without regard.

Just call.  Say the words.  Be honest.  Stop playing games.  For the 
love of women everywhere, just stop.

Stop the madness.

Maria