TheBanyanTree: men stink

[Woofie]

I beg to humbly disagree with the mighty, magnificently-muscled
Frogman:)

Old Spice, or even that ghastly Californian Poppy (remember that?) is
far preferable to the reek of stale human sweat, male's or female's! I
have to endure those stenches to and from work on public transport
each day. Rancid sweat smells on a hot day in a stuffy bus or train
carriage can actually make you nauseated and faint.

However, far worse than any unwashed, stale urine and sweat soaked
drunk on a train is one of the our employees at work.  Whenever she
walks down the hallway at work, she leaves a trail of solid, heavy
stale sweat soaked air, which lingers for hours.

One day, one other employee, braver than the rest of us, asked the
smelly one to please invest in some deodorant. The smelly one replied:

"Oh..I never use deodorant because my husband likes me 'au natural'."

Yeah..well her husband might have perverted scent detectors, but what
about the rest of us who have had to endure the stench of her "Eau
Naturelle" year after year?!!!

Hmm..I wonder if someone would bottle and sell Skunk pong? Cuz, I reckon
that is the only smell that could possibly overcome her pong!! Mebbe
we should jes smuggle some skunks into Orstralia and keep em as pets
at work:))

Ahh...a skunk never smelled so sweet....:))

W:)

Friday, November 11, 2005, 11:53:18 AM, Mike,
 wrote:

MP> Before some of you gals punch your fist in the air and give out a big
MP> 'YEAH!",
MP> let me explain.
MP>   I'm on the elliptical machine, trying to maintain my thirteen calorie per
MP> minute burn, when a young fella gets on the next machine over. Being a young
MP> fella, he's whirring along on that thing like a little bunny, raising up a
MP> little breeze. The moving air carries something acrid, something burns my
MP> nose. It's not male sweat, it's not deodorant, it's some kind of body spray.
MP> The kind you see on TV being sprayed on lithe, muscular young forms, then in
MP> the next second young girls spring out of the bushes to declare they want
MP> his babies or die trying. It smells like Raid to me, though I'm sure it's
MP> touted as Laid. Fortunately, he's a young bunny, and after ten minutes or so
MP> he's done. I'm on the thirty five minute plan and I'm thankful not to have
MP> that stink in my nose for the whole time.

MP>  Later, I'm on the leg press, trying not to think about blowing out a knee
MP> and huffing like a beached Humpback, when two other young fellas walk by.
MP> They stink too, although it's a little different, some kind of musk that
MP> trails after them. Invisible molecules of manliness. I'm annoyed. I didn't
MP> come to the gym to impress the girls; why are you? Give it up, fellas;
MP> there's a lot of muscle here, more than you have, and I doubt that your sexy
MP> spray will tip things in your favor. The gals are here for their own
MP> muscles, anyway. In all probability they'd prefer the scent of honest sweat,
MP> methinks.

MP>  Rarely do I walk by any woman and think 'phew!' Usually, you might catch
MP> just a hint of something, a subtle little hint of a fragrance that crooks a
MP> finger under your nose. Women generally get it; less is more. A little is
MP> just enough, a little hook tugging at the corners of the brain. A melody,
MP> rather than a power chord.


MP> An electrician came into my workplace today, a mature individual, a few
MP> short years from retirement. Thirty minutes after he left the air still
MP> reeked with Old Spice. I know he's been around long enough to remember the
MP> old BrylCreem jingle.


MP> A little dab'll do ya, fellas. A little dab'll do ya.
MP>  Mike



-- 
Best regards,
 Woofie,                       mailto:woofie at woofess.com

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"The one constant in life is absurdity" - Woofie - 30/4/02
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