TheBanyanTree: A Good Mom Day

[Pam North]

It's Saturday, early in November, and even for eastern North Carolina, today
was a wonderfully warm, sunny, breezy day... perfect for a marching band
competition!!
 My daughter is a senior in the 'guard' (that's 'flag' to those of you my
age, from the 'old' school!!). She's had two terrific years with the band,
and so, as a mom, have I. The marching band performs at varsity football
games, and they also compete around the state (and farther away!), through
the fall. But today, our high school hosted a competition. And it was large!
Over THIRTY bands are competing, more than at any other competition we've
gone to.
 As a mom of two busy and active teenagers, I like to think that I am
involved in their lives. Team mom, or class volunteer, I think I've 'been
there' from the beginning. I can tell you *all* their teachers names, and
I've *never* missed SOMETHING, just because I couldn't be bothered.
 No praise required, I think it's all a part of *being* a mom, but, with
insecurities about a lot of *other* things in my life, I think I've been
pretty damn successful as a mom. And while I'm not very good about giving
myself credit on a lot of fronts, even *I* think I have to give it here.
 In my daughter's 17 years (she's the oldest), I've spent at least EIGHT of
them actively being a 'single mom'. (Which may be a reason for some attempt
to 'overachieve', to make up for the guilt...).
 Anyway, the point was all about the band competition today. The volunteers
were asked to start showing up at 0900, thought the first band didn't
perform until 1100.
 Every competition hosts a "Hospitality Tent" of sorts, for the judges, and
visiting band directors. We were asked to provide food for them. Last night,
in between a half dozen other chores, I put together lasagna, and
refrigerated it. This morning, I was up at six to make chili and cook the
same lasagna. Then, in a show of 'single-momedness-of-more-than-one-kid', I
hugged my daughter as she left to go retake her SAT's, drove my son to the
*same* school for wrestling practice, went back home and showered and
dressed, loaded up my car, and then went back to the school to start my
'volunteering'.
 I delivered the food, and went in search of my 'job'. Turns out I was
slated to be a 'rope guard' (holding up the rope to keep the 'fans' at bay
while the bands and their trucks with pit crews and props drove/marched onto
the field), and I wasn't required until closer to 1100! So, being the mom
(and retired Marine) I am, I went in search of something that needed to get
done, and to offer up two more hands to accomplish it.
 And then I stood in the bright -*beautiful* - sunshine for more than four
hours, monitoring the ropes and keeping the fans at bay.
 For a few moments, I allowed myself to be 'bitchy', and wonder just where
in the heck their father was, off with somebody else's child, in another
town, for *their* event, and found myself feeling 'better than thou'. And
then I realized how silly that was. *I* was enjoying myself!!!! I wouldn't
have been anywhere else! I was there for selfish motives! I know so many
other parents and their kids!!
 I got little thrills when other band kids walked by and called out, "Hey
mom!", and I'd never birthed them! My social child has friends who *like*
hanging out at my house!! They think I'm 'cool'!!
 But the coolest thing today, was seeing the program of events! The program
lists all the schools competing, and info about each band. As a fund raiser,
the school also sells 'ads' to local businesses, and also to parents. And
behind my daughter's back, I bought one!!! A half-page spread. It included
her school kindergarten photo (that cute little smiling face wearing her
dal-a-mation dress!!!), and a few words of love and praise. I got to tell
the world, and my sweet little 'baby' girl, how much I love her, and how
proud I am of her.
 Call me 'team mom', 'class mom', 'band mom', 'gunnymom'.....
 I AM A MOM!!!!!
 Pam