TheBanyanTree: A lot of them shooters is weird!!

[Woofie]

  We gort home ternight from from the Nashnuls and Spouse opines:

  "A lot of them shooters is real weird!"

  "Which ones?" I asks, perplexed.

  "Mainly the ones in your squad!" explains the Spouse.

  "Ah," I sez, relieved, "That's cuz most of the shooters in our squad
  was all them weird revolver shooters. Revolver shooters jes has
  fun:))"

  The event was the 2005 Nashnul IPSC Champeenships and somehow I had
  gort stuck inna state team, cuz one of the other team members pulled
  out. I was very worried about this, cuz I has only been shootin a
  short time and I ain't very good and I didn't wanna drag the team
  down. I didn't have ter worry much cuz we was THE revolver team in
  orstralia and I was THE lady revolver shooter. The only thing wot I
  hadda worry about was not gitting DQ'ed (disqualified) fer
  breaking 90 or summat equally as heinous. Breaking 90 is more
  shameful and more ignoble and more dishonorable than breaking wind
  inna crowded ellevater.

  Some of the stages (there are a series of different stages yer has
  ter shoot (see:
  http://public.fotki.com/woofie/woof_pics/ipsc_national_champ/stageex.html )

  was known as DQ cities, cuz there was so many nasty bits in em ter
  trap the unwary..and quite a large number of competitors gort DQ'd.

  Revolver shooters is looked askance at by other shooters and we is
  particularly sneered at by the open shooters. Open shooters mostly
  has semi autos and their guns is fitted wid compensators ter reduce
  recoil and big scopes with red dots in em. It makes shooting the
  targets extremely easy. Open shooters win by being able ter run very
  fast and shoot fast...there ain't much actual shooting skill
  required. Double action revolvers is the hardest handgun ter shoot
  and hardly any fillies shoot em. Semi auto shooters think we is a
  joke and we is barely tolerated by em. We doan care, cuz we is there
  ter have fun.

  The big difference between us and them other shooters wot is the
  vast minority  is that we laugh at ourselves and each other..iffen
  one of us does something particularly dumb we gits teased
  mercilessly by our teammates, whereas iffen we was a member of one
  of them deadly serious anal retentive open shooting teams we would
  git abused mercilessly. Fer example, the first stage our squad hadda
  shoot was one where yer hadda press a button after the beeper went
  orf and this button activated the disappearing targets. I fergort
  ter press the button and wondered why the disappearing targets
  didn't appear...I mean that is a really dumb thing ter fergit!

  Revolver shooters tend ter be very crude and uncouth with lots of
  raucous jokes wot shocks the anally retentive literal minded sorts.
  Also we all wear red undies, cuz red makes yer go faster. Some
  shooters wear their red G strings in odd places....

  See: http://public.fotki.com/woofie/woof_pics/ipsc_national_champ/redg.html

  All states and territories in Orstralia was represented (exceptin
  Tasmania..Tasmania gort all their guns tooked orf em after the Port
  Arthur Massacre there and they has only jes gort them back) as well
  as New Zealand (KiwiLand) and a smattering of Amercans. One of the
  dudes wid the Amercans carried around his rubber duckie..ok..it
  weren't rubber, it was plastic decoy duck, but it might as well have
   been a rubber one, cuz it was his pet...it even hadda name, Hector
   the Canard and Hector even has a engraved metal ducktag round his
   neck. Because it is Easter, he even sported a pair of furry rabbit
   ears:

   http://public.fotki.com/woofie/woof_pics/ipsc_national_champ/img_2547.html

   I asked Hector's owner iffen we would git ter shoot the crap out of
   Hector at the end of the competition...he was most horrified<G>

  We hadda Kiwi in our squad...he weren't a revolver shooter, but
  then he didn't need to be..that's cuz Kiwis is all loonies..oh
  yeah..fer youse iggerant Mercan types..KiwiLand is a small country
  wot resides east of Orstralia...and iffen youse wanna piss orf both
  Kiwis and Aussies, jes assume that KiwiLand is a state of Orstralia!

  Because all Kiwis is loony (it comes from inheriting scrapie disease
  from being cannibals and eating folks), their cops is loony too!
  Only in KiwiLand does yer have ter register yer bleedin spud gun at
  yer local cop shop! Oh yeah...fer youse iggerant folks, spuds is
  taters or potatoes..spud guns is summat yer makes yerself wid some
  poly pipe and a few other odds and ends  and you fires veggies out
  of.

  BUT IN KIWILAND YER HAS TER ACTUALLY REGISTER SUCH FUN DEVICES!!!!

  Anyhows, the Kiwi and the Spouse hadda nice lil chat discussing the
  finer points of spud guns and accelerants and the Spouse has
  encouraged the Kiwi ter try CRC as a accelerant instead of
  deodorant spray...I envisages a lot of flying veggie projectiles
  hurled at the east coast of Orstralia from Kiwiland in the near
  future!

  We also hadda  banana boy in our squad...Banana Boys hail from north
  of the Tropic of Capricorn, where folks grows bananas and turns
  troppo from the heat. Yesserday we hadda few spots of rain...the
  rain freaked the Banana Boy out:

  "Wot's this stuff!!!?" he screeched, "It ain't that stuff called
  rain is it? We ain't had rain fer over 18 months and I has fergort
  wot it is!"

  http://public.fotki.com/woofie/woof_pics/ipsc_national_champ/bananaboy.html

  Yup, even though it never rains where the Banana Boys live, they
  allus has a river full of water, so they has plenty of water fer
  drinkin and irrigation and stuff.

  Them few piddly drops of wet stuff caused the Kiwi ter don his
  emergency flood survival gear, cuz rain in KiwiLand tends ter mean
  floods and mud slides.

  http://public.fotki.com/woofie/woof_pics/ipsc_national_champ/kiwirain.html

  Now I gotta go git ready fer the prize table...the prize table is
  where they raffle prizes from alla sponsors and usually everyone
  wins a prize...and then there is the big presentation dinner
  ternight where they hand out alla trophies and babble on a lot and
  everyone gits blind drunk...only the uncouth sorts, but:))
  

-- 
Best regards,
 Woofie ,                         mailto:woofie at woofess.com

**********************************************************
"The one constant in life is absurdity" - Woofie - 30/4/02
**********************************************************

Website: http://www.woofess.com
Photos: http://public.fotki.com/woofie/