TheBanyanTree: The Adventures of the Red Knickers - Part 2A

[Woofie]

Doan you jes hate it when yer mailer decides ter send yer mail afore
yer has finished writin it?!!
Pics can be found here:
http://public.fotki.com/woofie/rt4/

Anyways, as I was sayin afore I was rudely innerupted by me mailer...

Dee had found us the most wunnerful house ter stay in, complete wid
beautifully designed cottage garden with hidden twisty paths
everywhere, full of all sorts of flowers, shrubs and trees. We was
joined there by two more loonies, Gail and Sash. Nights of wild
debauchery followed and the only thing we fergort ter do was ter stand
on the side of the main coastal highway in Oregon at night and do a
full moon...but next time!

Dee has invented this evil elixir called Banyan Bubbly ( I must bother
her again fer the recipe), wot has a incredible effect on the human
body and mind. It was due to its enhancing effects that we was all
able ter fully develop our new religion, complete wid snake handling.
The snakes and killer pythons was compliments of Orstralian
candy/lolly/sweets makers. [I suggests yer looks carefully at the
snake handling pics in the Oregon photo album..very revealing is them
shots:)]

Unfortunately I can't remember alla stuff we talked about and did, due
ter the mind numbing effects of Banyan Bubbly, but fortunately Sash
writ it all down as it happened...I am sure she didn't mean it when
she looked at wot she writ in the cold, sober light of day and
reckoned it was all meaningless!

The first night FMWP and me shared a bed...the next night she refused
ter sleep wid me cuz she reckons I pushed her out of bed in me
sleep..BALLS! The next night she planned ter sleep inna lovely suite
on the top floor, (this had been reserved fer our mates Theta and
Gerry, but their vehicle decided ter break down inna wilds of
somewhere or t'other and they couldn't make it:(() Anyways FMWP never
made it ter the top floor...she gort too overcome by Banyan Bubbly and
never made it any further than the sofa in the dining room..HAH!

One morning we et breakfast at the Greasy Spoon..I kids yers not..that
is its name...bloody good breakfast, but:)) Dee made breakfast the
next morning and by cripes it was good, folks:)

Sadly we said goodbye ter Dee and the rest of us trotted up the road
ter ...now..where the bleedin hell was it?...hold on while I consults
me Rand McNally...Bandon...yeah, where we met up wid this yummy hunk,
wot unfortunately is attached ter Gail. Bandon, like the rest of
Oregon is stuck onto the Pacific Ocean, so it is a very pretty town,
albeit touristy..so yer can buy lobsters wot spin their nippers in the
wind and stuff like that. The rest of them bleedin females, being
addicted ter shopping, like all their ilk *SNORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT*,
kept divin into all these stores looking fer naughty underwear.
Unfortunately all them stores they went into was tiny and crowded and
had that stinking incense burning..ugh! I hadda exit them stores,
being sorely afflicted by the stench of incense and suffering mightily
from the after effects of too much Banyan Bubbly. Dunno whether
outside was much better, but, cuz outside they had all them bloody
windchimes hangin up everywhere, chimin their lil heads orf...and wind
chimes and hangovers doan go together too good, neither!

I might note here, that Gail lives near Bandon and knows it
well...that, however, did not stop her from drivin the wrong way up
one way streets and gittin lost...also, despite the fact that there is
only a coupla streets in Bandon!

After draggin them fillies out of them bleedin shops and sayin goodbye
ter Gail ( I wunner if she found her way home OK?) and the Hunk, Sash,
FMWP and me made our way ter....hold orn...yeah..Roseburg, where Theta
and Gerry was stranded. Sash was drivin her own car and we lost her a
minute or so out of Bandon...that's cuz FMWP drives like a bat out of
hell!

About an hour after we gort ter Roseburg and found Gerry and Theta,
Sash arrived..that gives you a good idea how fast FMWP drives! I am
surprised we gort there so fast, actually, cuz we kept crossing the
same bridge alla way there...in fact we counted we crossed this bridge
at least 11 times...in case yers is wondering, the name of the bridge
is the Middle Fork of the Coquille River..either it was the same
bridge or else the road sign makers accidentally made 11 bridge signs
the same and stuck em orn different bridges!

....to be continued...
  

-- 
Best regards,
 Woofie ,                         mailto:woofie at woofess.com

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"The one constant in life is absurdity" - Woofie - 30/4/02
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Website: http://www.woofess.com
Photos: http://public.fotki.com/woofie/