TheBanyanTree: Not On The Way

[Maria Gibson]

I recently reconnected with someone.  You know, I have let a lot of 
things go over the years of feeling depressed and anxious.  Most of what 
I've let go is relationships and people because, well, it can take a lot 
out of a person to devote time and emotion to a relationship, even the 
obscure faceless kind in email.  So, like dandelions on a hot summer 
waft of heat, they go up and up and away.  Poof.  With just the right 
amount of not returning calls or writing back, or just not reaching out, 
you, too, can become a little lonelier and isolated.  It feels good 
sometimes and is needed sometimes.  The real problem comes when you wake 
up to find that now the real work has begun.

So.  I reconnect in May with a person I so admired when I met.  
Hilarious, charming, sweet, sarcastic, serious...downright all around 
great guy.  Poofed him gone a few years ago when I was in a bad place 
and not willing to be open.  But when I saw him again this spring it was 
almost as if all those years, yes years, had not passed.  Still all 
those things and not hating me for being stand-offish back in the day.  
As the song goes, who could ask for anything more?  As reconnects go, it 
was slow.  I'm busy, he's busy.  I gigged him the other day in a funny 
not in-yer-face way and he responded and so a couple of emails later we 
are in the zone.  In the zone.  It is right, it is awesome, it is so 
good.  Man, do I need this zone right now.  I think he needs the zone, 
too.  We have been put together at just the right time in just the right 
way.  God has been good to me that way on so many occasions.

He says, you are on the way to where I'm going, I say great, come see 
me.  When he was close he called but something wasn't right.  Seems, 
after some discussion and finding neither of us is an expert at this 
sort of thing anyway, that I am actually more than an hour out of his 
way.  Hey, I say, don't do it, dude, just keep going and get to your 
destination.  I can't come that far out of my way, either, so it's all 
cool, it's all good.  We'll get together another time, right?  Right on 
and it'll be great!

Funny thing, this reconnect.  I ain't on the way to that other place but 
I am definitely on the way to so much more.  I'm on the way to being 
open of the heart, open of the effort, open of the spirit.  I'm on the 
way to being there when needed and giving what I'm given.  I'm on the 
way to a great friendship and I love having the chance to be a friend.  
This feels so good, so right.

I'm on the way to me.

Maria