TheBanyanTree: HAD MY CHANCE AND BLEW IT.

[NancyIee at aol.com]

Have you ever had one of those days when you regret committing to something 
and later regretted it? Maybe someone asks you something as simple as, "can you 
help me move?" You have a truck and, sure, you can help a friend move.  Then 
you find out he not only has a houseful, but stuff in public storage, and more 
stuff at a friend's house.  YOU thought he was only moving a few things. 
Turns out it will blow your whole weekend.  He senses your reluctance, and says, 
"if you're too busy, I can get someone else . . . " or something as vague. You 
have a split second to get out of the chore.  "Naw," you reply.  This is a 
good friend, after all. "I got time. I'll help you." So, there you are; stuck.

That was just an example,  mind you. It could be anything in which you  
regret making a committment or a promise.  It sounded easy or desirable at the 
time, but then you realize it will cost more than you are willing to pay. Rather 
than disappoint or hurt a friend, you let the moment by when you can escape.

Why do we do that?  I know, some are brave and grab that moment, or refuse to 
get sucked in in the first place. Perhaps we are too well raised, too 
concerned over the sensitivities of others, too afraid of hurting, too chicken to 
refuse.

Do you want to drive to New York with me  and help me bring back my 
grandmother?  Sure. It'll be a fun trip. I love New York, and I can put up with Grandma 
for a three day road  trip. Then later you wonder what was on your insane 
mine to accept such a thing.

Let's move in together, you friend offers.  Wonderful. We're good friends and 
always got along, could talk for hours, have good times together,  and two 
can live cheaper, and all that.  But then you realize you would have to give up 
your precious solitude, your two cats, since the other person is allergic, 
would have to put up with the other's  nasty  sister's visits and intrusions, 
etc. etc.  Too late. You can't back out now. How could you and salvage the 
friensdship, which you value highly?

How much of a good idea is too good to be true?  How can one change the 
future without damaging the relationship?  How can one leap off a moving train you 
suddenly realize is going the wrong direction without abandoning a friend or 
relative?

Or, having taken the moment and escaped, what happens if the hurt is too 
great, you regret the change of heart, and there is no going back?

Life gets so complicated sometimes.