TheBanyanTree: "But honey, that's where the piano will go!" by LaRose Karr

[LaRose Karr]

"But honey, that's where the piano will go!"



Sometimes in marriage, just as in life, we go on a merry-go-round, full circle. Up! And Down!



There's a certain dance my husband and I do. We go through it occasionally, not often...but yet, often enough for it to be familiar, a waltz of sorts. We glide along knowing each other's rhythm and sway from first step to last.



It's called the remodeling dance. We've only owned one home in our married life-time. We bought a fixer upper fifteen years ago. Now, the first round of fixing up was a breeze. And, it came quite as a surprise actually.



We were out in the real world, a young married couple with four children at home. The oil field life we'd known for the entire time we'd lived in Colorado provided us with feast or famine. We were not one of those young couples who struggled financially when first married. My husband was a roughneck on an oil rig and worked every position from worm to driller. He worked long, hard hours and drove great distances to work. Between base pay, travel pay and overtime, we had a good life. I was able to stay home with our children and not work outside the home. 



That was the feast.



And with that came the flip side - famine. When the rigs stacked out for weeks on end and only dry-watch pay came home, it was pretty sparse. And having grown up a country girl and poor to boot, I knew how to stretch the dollars, and food, and clothes for six people.



So when we went to the bank to borrow money to buy a house we had some unfortunate news. "You have uncertain income." No doubt! Years of feast and famine had already shown us that. So, the bank sent us to a mortgage company who would help young couples like us with a first time home loan. And we did another sort of dance, the "please lend us some money so we can buy a house dance."  



Meanwhile spiritually I was praying for my husband to attend church with me and the kids. We'd been going 3 1/2 years without him at that time, and I didn't know it but my church family was agreeing with me in prayer silently.



"Lord, if you want us to have this house, will you make us a spiritual family?" It was a simple prayer really, but the kind that God loves to honor! And so, he did. We closed on our home in May 1990 and in the fall of that year, my husband Larry sat down on the edge of the bed one Saturday night after I'd already laid down. He said, "I'm going to church with you tomorrow." 



Well, nothing could wipe the smile off my face for an entire week. 



We had bid on this fixer-upper home and placed such a low bid we were sure the owner would counter. But, nope, he accepted our bid. The mortgage company though took a different stance. We'll loan you some extra money to fix up the house. And so they came in, inspected and fixed it up. We moved into a freshly painted home with new outside doors, and storm windows, insulation and other fixings.



It was cool.



Through the years, we've made many changes. I've painted different colors, and am always the one to instigate that. The kids have had assorted bright colors in their bedrooms. Their father once said to me, "I can't believe you let them paint their rooms 'that' bright color!"



It's been fun being a homeowner. We try at least once a year to take on one big improvement project.



I must confess though, that it's been two years since our last one. But here we are again, and by now, you are thinking when will she get to the piano?



Well I say all this to show you that home owning, marriage and spiritual life goes through seasons. Sometimes our seasons have beautiful spring weather, sunshine, and rain, or we may have cloudy days.



In my marriage, we are about to enter a phase of remodeling. And here's the dance.



It starts with an idea. (Usually mine) Then, it progresses to my husband thinking and pondering; I wish you could see the wheels that begin to turn once he decides to contemplate a project. It's same section of his brain that loves industrial design. He begins to plan, and measure, and draw, and then execute (or conquer).



So, here we are. We're still in our fixer upper house that is one year older than me; this house was built in 1956. We are not that newly married couple any more with four children at home. We live with one teenage son, (I refer to his room as 'the cave' and keep a bedroom open for a college age daughter. Our other two adult children live nearby.



And now, I want to be more hospitable. I am the first to throw a good party in the backyard for a hundred people or more on a nice spring or summer day. The more the merrier. But what about winter? Well, I shy away from home fellowships because we have both a living room and family room and no dining room, just a breakfast nook in the kitchen. Our living room is just a bit larger than the family room but people end up in both. That's not a bad thing but they are separated.



So, lately I've been feeling that tug to be more hospitable in the winter months when my family and others need it too. We like to have people over so here is the next step in our marriage. 



The remodeling dance begins again. We haven't done it in the last 8 years... it's kind of like childbirth; you forget the pains and do it again.



This time though, it's already started out in a fun way. I presented the idea of opening up the living room and family room with a large doorway so it would be one open area.  The second step of the dance is my husband starts throwing out huge major renovation ideas. Raising ceilings and floors. I stand my ground, "No, that's not what I want...I just want to open up the rooms." 



So we sit. Yes, we sit. 



He decides a 10 ft. doorway is what we need, I suggest scaling it down to maybe 6 ft. And so we sit. And we look, and we measure, and we plan.



My husband the master handy man will do the work. And we'll have some more steps in our dance. That's what marriage, life and even our spiritual walk is all about. I want a corner next to the new 6 ft. doorway where I can move the upright piano. I can't get rid of this antique, my daughter's learned to play the piano on it... what will my daughter's play when they are home? It's one of my greatest pleasures in life to listen to them play the piano!



So, that was my remodeling exclamation this morning when he suggested a 10 ft. doorway, "But honey, that's where the piano will go!"



Well, that was my exclamation, not long before master handyman husband left to go fishing. I'll keep you filled in on this story as it unfolds and walls come down.