TheBanyanTree: A Half Full Glass

[Julie Anna Teague]

Thanks for sharing your story, Tom.  Very insightful of you.  I have a
good friend whose mother is very much like that, and he struggles with
that each time he visits.  I guess we can't possibly imagine what it feels
like to deal with the mental and physical aspects of being 80+, but I keep
telling myself, or hoping for myself, that I won't be like that.  I look
to my grandmother as an inspiration.  She had an angelic smile, a peaceful
contenance, and a positive attitude despite all of the standard problems
of aging--lots of pain from arthritis, small strokes, having to leave her
home, etc.

I ask myself, often, what helped her stay that way.  For one, she always
tried to see the good in people, especially her family.  There were times,
near the end, in the nursing home that she complained about some of the
other residents, but generally she always tried to be non-judgemental. I
felt unconditionally loved.  

For another, she placed little value on "things".  She was one of the most
non-materialistic people I've ever known.  She appreciated having the
things she needed.  If she was given a gift, no matter how small, it was
always praised and appreciated.  I never, ever, heard her complain that
something wasn't nice enough for her.  Maybe it was living through the
depression, but she always seemed very satisfied with what she had. 

And one of the things that stands out most about her was her appreciation
of small things.  She always noticed flowers blooming.  She hung her
laundry on the line and stopped to take in the fresh smell.  She liked to
iron her pillow cases, which seemed completely absurd to me, and yet I can
remember the heavenly feeling of laying my head down on a perfectly
pressed pillow case.  We would write letters and she delighted in hearing
when my first strawberries were on.  I watched her taste a fresh green
bean in the garden as she pulled weeds.  Most all of the time, she was
singing or humming a tune--she liked "This is My Father's World".  She
joked about she and I both having a "sweet tooth" and kept a little bag
of candy in a special place for us.  Simple things brought great joy. 
Brought that smile and the dancing blue eyes that will forever be with me. 

Julie
jateague at indiana.edu

 
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