TheBanyanTree: It's just weird

[Monique]

My friend/client/hairstylist Lisa likes to advise me on my life. I don't
know why. Maybe it's because she's a hair stylist, and that's what they DO.
On the other hand, maybe it's because she thinks I'm totally clueless about
life. I spent some time with Lisa today, helping her with a business thing
(that's what I do, business things), and then she bought me lunch at a
seafood restaurant on the sound where I had great salmon and shrimp. 

And I ate it all.

Anyway, she likes to advise me on being single since she was once -- I went
to her wedding almost two years ago. So she's an expert, whereas I, as a
long-time married person, am not. She has nixed potential dates based on the
most cursory of information because she knows what's best for me. No one
with children still at home. (She has stepchildren, and that has not gone
well.) No one who claims to be a therapist, or a counselor. (Yeah, tried
that, she was right, not a good idea -- I need long-term therapy to recover
from the damage to my psyche.) No one with beady eyes. Good hair of course.
Someone to be good to me. (Should go without saying, that's what I think.) 

My sister thinks I should just find someone older with money so I won't have
to work so hard anymore. Yeah, I guess she loves me . . . . but older
doesn't really work for me. 

Anyway, so there I was today, with Lisa, and she asked me about Stew. I told
her he was doing okay. (We then veered off into a lengthy discourse about
the proper food, which happens with her quite a bit.) She asked about
Andrew. I told her he was fine.

And she said, to my great amazement, "Well, of course they can't meet each
other."

"They can't?" I asked, "why not?"

I really didn't know. In fact, they HAVE met, a couple of times, have spoken
pleasantries to each other. When Stew calls late at night in pieces and I
need to bring him back into a semblance of a whole Andrew is patient and
concerned that Stew's okay. Stew likes Andrew. 

"Well," Lisa informed me, "it's just weird."

Of course it's WEIRD. This is MY life after all (or is that my LIFE?), and
I'm not exactly a role model for non-weirdness. Not at all. How many of us
have mentally ill ex's in the wings that we take care of? (Probably too many
of us, but that's another issue altogether.) 

I told her they'd already met. 

She told me I really should consult with her before making any kind of move
in my relationships.

Okay, that's a lie. She didn't say that. But I know she was thinking it, was
wondering how someone like me has managed to keep a guy around at all, as
irresponsible as I am, as inept as my people skills are.

I must admit, it's a mystery to me too. 

Here I am, introducing people to each other because they're both important
to me, and it turns out that's all WRONG. Sigh.

Is there a manual somewhere I should be consulting? It's true, I don't
understand the rules. I don't even KNOW the rules, much less understand
them. I fear I am hopeless. I have Lisa's number programmed into my cell
phone of course, so there's no excuse for consulting her before I make a
move, none at all. I have so much to learn.

Monique