TheBanyanTree: postal prohibition

[Mike Pingleton]

On Wednesday 24 March 2004 15:24, sash wrote:
> So, did you know that you can't mail booze?

Hmm.  I mailed some booze to Oz a couple years ago (to them Woodcats, back 
when they were shivering amongst the sheep) and nary a word was said.  I even 
had to declare the contents for customs.

I expect there's at least several thousand gallons of hooch in transit on any 
given day, all under the premise of 'don't ask, don't tell'.  I suppose that 
booze does fall under the category of Things We'd Rather Not Have Our 
Lettercarriers Carry, like fireworks and gasoline.

Get thee to another post office, Sash, and mum's the word.  If anybody asks, 
tell 'em it's pickled beets.  And if you ever consider mailing pickled beets 
to anyone, please think of me - I love 'em.

Mike


> I'm really surprised.  I mean, they mail me all sorts of nasty chemicals
> from the dye shop in California and that's no problem.  You can ship great
> Aunt Mildred's pickled beets every Christmas.  I would think that would be
> a much bigger spill risk than a bottle of rum or something - wouldn't the
> alcohol just evaporate - pretty much.  Pickled beets could ruin a lot of
> other packages and youd never get rid of the color or the smell.
>
> I even had a spiffy box from the liquor store that packs the bottle all
> around tightly with formed recycled aper pulp or something.  Very sturdy
> and safe AND environmentally friendly.
>
> They didn't care.
>
> I really only asked about it because I thought there might be a special
> release form - maybe the person needed to sign for it and prove they are
> over 21 or something.  I truly expected them to ask about the packaging
> (of which I was quite proud) but they just flat out said "no".
>
> They suggested that I might check with UPS, their ground service might
> carry it.
>
> I felt kind of silly walking back out with my package - and it's taken me
> so long to get around to GOING to the post office in the first place.
>
> And then I start wondering if normal people already know this.  If I
> relate this sad tale of my failed errand to one of the woman at our front
> desk would she give me an odd look and say "Of COURSE you can't ship
> alcohol, whatever were you thinking??"
>
> That happens to me a great deal.  I think of them as my "you're not from
> around here" moments where, sadly, "around here" = "planet earth".  I
> spend a lot of time and energy trying to translate between my brain and
> the rest of the world but moments like this do come up and I am there,
> flatfooted and my mouth hanging open - in it WAY too far to pretend that I
> misspoke or was just being silly.
>
> So I'll just talk to you.  You're not normal folk, for starters.  Also, if
> you DO think I've skipped a groove, you'll only tease me a bit and I'll
> know it's OK.
>
> At least I'll hope that you're laughing at how funny it is to have such a
> strange friend, and not that I should be sent to a retraining center
> somewhere.
>
> Right?
>
> - sash