TheBanyanTree: A Time to Die

[Margaret R. Kramer]

By now, President Reagan is in the ground, unless they’re going to try to
squeeze in more service somewhere else, just to be sure no one missed
anything.  One commentator mentioned during this week long drawn out
spectacle that he never met someone who got so much enjoyment being
President.  Well, sure Reagan did, because he didn’t do anything.  He was
smart enough to pick people who did everything for him.  He was the Teflon
man with the big smile and a jar of jellybeans.

But as much as I didn’t like Reagan, he’s much better than who is in the
White House now.  At least, Reagan had more moral fiber than the posse of
the warlord Rumsfeld, “it’s OK to torture people” Ashcroft, the one who
doesn’t have a clue about the real world Rice, and the intellectually vacant
Bush who owes all to Daddy buying off the Supreme Court.

Perhaps they could haul Reagan’s body to the White House and prop him up
next to that jar of jellybeans and he could take over.  A dead body could do
much better than the one we have now.  At least, a dead Reagan would
understand how our dead sons and daughters from the Iraqi war feel about
life and death.  Our current President seems like he can’t even figure out
life (unless he has Daddy’s help).

But as much as I didn’t like Reagan, Ray and I watched the funeral coverage.
We watched the procession from the White House to the Capitol.  We watched
the service at the Capitol.  We watched Nancy follow her husband’s body from
one place to the next with that strong general by her side.  I told Ray that
every widow should have a general with her.  He or she could can direct her,
tell her what to do next when her mind is spinning and can’t find focus.

We watched as they eulogized Reagan at Simi Valley, what a lovely place and
a lovely sunset.  I cried as Nancy couldn’t leave the coffin.  I knew that
would be the hard part for her.  In spite of their beliefs, morals, and
failings in life, Ron and Nancy Reagan were “just people,” too.  I do
believe that they did have a love story between them that most of us could
never imagine.

Even when he was sick, he was still alive, she could still touch him and
take care of him, and talk to him, even if he didn’t understand.  But after
she took the flag and clutched it tightly to her chest, and because this was
on national TV and she couldn’t scream and cry and throw herself on the
ground, she knew when she turned around and walked away from the casket that
he wouldn’t be home waiting for her.  She wouldn’t be able to hold his hand
or help him eat or make sure he took his medications.

The party was over.  She was going home to an empty house.  Good friends and
family would be there to support her, but he wouldn’t be.  And that is the
moment we all dread.  Going home to nothing.

And this is where the funeral made sense to me.  It wasn’t the overdone pomp
and circumstance in Washington, DC, but the family, the children with their
eloquent eulogies, gathered together in the gentle light from the sunset
saying good-bye.  Reagan’s family, by allowing us to share that moment with
them through the media, validated our own rituals and grief when our family
members pass on.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at earthlink.net

http://www.polarispublications.com
Be a star!

http://www.bpwmn.org
Business and Professional Women of Minnesota

A bird does not sing because it has an answer.  It sings because it has a
song.
~Chinese Proverb