TheBanyanTree: The Schizophrenia Diaries, January 3

[my]

Despite yesterday's evidence to the contrary, Stew is making progress in
seeking out other support avenues, ways to keep from being so isolated,
options. 

Last week he started looking for another place to live. He likes his
apartment, he likes being close to me (admittedly, I like it also), but he
tends to not see anyone else much, to be closed off and away from people,
which only makes his condition worse if anything. And it's expensive, living
on his own. Last week he started looking for a roommate, or a house to
share. 

He found one possibility, a house down in Shoreline that was looking for
another housemate. (Well, technically, the house itself wasn't looking, the
person who was leasing the house was.) He called her (the leaseholder, not
the house), and he explained his situation to her. That he is mentally ill,
but he's not looking for a caretaker. That he functions well most of the
time, and when he doesn't, he can deal with it or call someone who can, like
me. 

And she invited him to go down and have a look. I was with him at the time,
since we were out doing things and I had no car, but I didn't go in with
him. I waited in the vehicle, slept a bit actually. He was gone for about
half an hour. He talked to the leaseholder a bit, then he talked to Marty,
another resident who was painting the rooms that would by occupied by Stew
if he were to move in. There are five bedrooms. The one that is unoccupied
is in the daylight basement (he prefers basements, lower levels, while I
prefer upper), and includes, besides the bedroom, another larger room, a
bonus room. There is a separate bathroom down there, and while the laundry
facilities are in there also for the use of everyone else in the house, the
bathroom is, ostensibly, his alone. It would be great for him; he'd have
room for all his stuff, two rooms, enough privacy to be okay, but still be
around people.

He was worried about the mental illness stigma of course. All the TV shows
that show that people with schizophrenia are likely to go out and hurt
people. Though this is certainly not restricted to mental illness, people
see that as a major factor, understandably so. Like anything else, there are
degrees of schizophrenia and BPD and depression.

The meeting seemed to go well though.

They called him later. They would love for him to be able to move in right
away. They liked him, and want him to be the new housemate. They also want
someone right away, and he can't do it until the end of January. They had
two more people coming to look at it, and if neither of them worked out by
not being able to move in immediately, it was Stew's for the taking.

He is, after all, a rather likeable guy. 

It is reassuring to see that the mental illness stigma does not extend
everywhere.

I once tried to get him to do some volunteer work. He's good with data, with
spreadsheets, with analysis, with paperwork. I had volunteered at a small
nonprofit that claimed to be desperate for help. I helped. I did database
entry mostly. There was still much to be done, and I became busier
personally. I gave them Stew's name and number, told them he had mental
illness, but that he was great in a quiet office environment, and quite
intelligent. I told them he'd be happy if they gave him a call and asked him
to come in. (He would; I'd already talked to him about it.)

They never called him. They were desperate for someone to do data entry, but
not that desperate. I stopped helping them out myself, since they apparently
weren't that desperate after all. They wouldn't even talk to him. 

It's hard enough for those with mental illness to function in society
without the rejection from those who see mental illness as the most
important personality trait in someone who can be productive, is willing,
smart, and who wants to contribute. 

That sentence was way too long.

Anyway, progress is being made. A move may be happening soon. Change is
scary enough, but for him even more so. Stepping out from his comfort zone
will help, will show him that he is capable of more. It's an ongoing
process. It is proceeding as it should, despite the occasional evidence to
the contrary.

Monique