TheBanyanTree: The Schizophrenia Diaries

[Monique]

February 19, 2004

A short entry for today, as befits a short day. The days should be getting
longer soon; I certainly hope so, since I seem to never have enough hours in
the day. Then again, am I using all my hours productively? I don't think so.

I sent Stew home earlier. We'd met for lunch, then he went to pick up a book
for me (The Secret Life of Bees, which I need for a book club meeting next
week) and to the bank. Afterwards he stopped by my apartment, and I could
tell he was tired, so I sent him home to get some rest. 

He went home, walked the dog, then logged on to his computer. He wrote: "my
eyes are playing tricks on me...  I could have sworn I saw a Uhaul truck
parked by my apartment... but it's not there." 

I asked if it could have left. 

"No...  I was walking puppy dog and we were walking towards my place...  I
looked up at saw the Uhaul, and I thought, "Odd, it wasn't there when we
left the apt." Then I blinked, and it was gone."

What does one say to this? Not the obvious, "Oh, you're just seeing things."
That should go without saying. Obviously he's SEEING things, and he KNOWS
he's seeing things. Knowing it does not mean he doesn't SEE them though.

I told him I thought he needed a nap. He agreed, and said, "I guess I'm
having a schizo moment." We like to state the obvious here at Schizo Manor. 

"Yes, that'll happen now and then," I wrote, because it is the truth. 

His next sentence cracked me up, as these things tend to do. "It's quite
disconcerting, I'll have you know."

Well, that itself ought to go without saying, but part of the fun is being
able to say these things. Without laughing at it, where would we be? Where
would he be? Some days that's all he's got, situations that might not seem
humorous to others, but must be, in some sort of dark twisted way because
without that, what do we have? 

"It's quite disconcerting, I'll have you know." Yes, schizophrenia can be
quite disconcerting now and then.

Monique