TheBanyanTree: The Gift of Giving

[Margaret R. Kramer]

A warm wind is howling across the prairie this morning.  There is no snow or
cold air attached to this wind.  It just rearranges the piles of brown
leaves.

But our Christmas preparations go on without a White Christmas blaring in
the background.  Ray and I worked in perfect tandem and got our tree
decorated.  Ray did the lights and then we both added the ornaments.  I
always love opening the boxes of Christmas ornaments and reliving a bit of
Christmas past as I touch each one and hang it on the tree.  Some of them
are from my grandparents, some of them are from my childhood and my son’s
childhood, and some of them are brand new, ready to absorb the memories from
this Christmas present.

Always the multi-tasker, while Ray was wrestling with the light strands, I
began working on the Christmas cards.  The address labels and the Christmas
letter were printed a couple of weeks ago, so all we had to do was assemble
them.  After we finished the tree, we worked on the cards in the soft glow
of the Christmas tree lights and listened to gentle carols from the stereo.

I didn’t want to leave this cozy scene, but I had to finish my Christmas
shopping.  I order the bulk of our gifts online.  It’s click, click, click,
and I’m done.  The boxes have been stacked in my office for weeks.  On this
night, I wanted to get the gifts for co-workers, for charity, and the good
old stocking stuffers.

I drove out in the dark and cold, because I love shopping on Saturday nights
when the stores are less crowded, and it’s easier to browse.  I drove out
alone, because through the years Ray and I have learned that it’s easier for
me to shop on my own without having him following me around like a puppy.
Without dear Ray, I feel less rushed and I can also buy extra surprise gifts
for him.

Earlier in the afternoon, I had made a list and checked it twice, so I knew
what stores I wanted to go to and I had a general idea of what to get.
Sometimes I need to wander through the store and let ideas come to me.  On
this night, the magic of giving happened and the gifts found their way into
my shopping bags.

Unfortunately, Christmas has become a very materialistic time of year.  When
my parents were children, they were lucky to get one special gift on
Christmas.  My parents, who grew up during the depression, made a lot our
gifts when we were children.

And my mother, I think to compensate for her lack of gifts from her
childhood Christmases, eventually turned our family Christmases into present
extravaganzas, with gifts stretching out across the floor from beneath our
Christmas tree.  But my mother bought gifts all year, beginning with after
Christmas sales the day after Christmas.  She stashed those gifts away in
closets and nooks and hidey holes for the following Christmas.

As an adult with my own child, I always felt I was lacking something because
I couldn’t give him the kind of Christmas I had when I was growing up,
because I was poor coming right out of college.  I did manage to send a few
cards out, bake cookies, and I would decorate a Norfolk pine with shiny
ornaments as our Christmas tree.  He laughs now about a lack of a “real”
tree, but is what “real” anyway with so many artificial trees in everyone’s
homes?

I still have the first Christmas decoration I ever bought as an adult.  It
was a little bell to hang on my apartment door.  I was so poor back then, I
think that was about the only thing I could afford to buy that wasn’t a
Christmas gift.

My Christmases have expanded as I’ve made more money.  I hang lights
outside.  I buy a Christmas wreath and pine roping.  I hang lights inside.
We have stockings hanging from the fireplace mantel.  We have a small
Christmas tree in the loft and a small one in the family room as well as our
big REAL tree in the living room.  We have decorations and candles
everywhere.  I buy candy to have around the house.  I bake cookies.  I buy
gifts.  What I was unable to buy my son, I’m able to buy for my grandsons.
We go to concerts and shows during the holiday season.  Christmas has become
everything I wanted it to be – a fairytale time of happiness and goodwill.

Is Christmas a state of mind or does it only occur when all the physical
pieces are in place?  Do I need the music, the food, the lights, the gifts,
and the tree to make Christmas come alive for me?  Looking back, when I was
a poor college student and rarely had enough money to even eat at MacDonald’
s, I still caught the spirit and felt happy during this time, so I think I
would be OK if I didn’t have enough money to spend on gifts and all the
other trappings.

In fact, I can see a time when the grandsons are older and the magic of
Santa Claus changes for them that we will stop buying for ourselves and buy
for others.  My charitable giving has also increased with my salary.  We
send donations, we’ve collected for the food shelf, and we contribute to
Toys for Tots and other groups.  I think I enjoy giving gifts to others more
than buying for my family and I’m looking forward to this shift of giving in
the future.

Our financial situation could disappear overnight.  I realize good times are
usually only temporary and my Christmas future could be very different than
my Christmas present.  The Grinch is right, we don’t need the “ribbons,
tags, packages, boxes, or bags.”  Christmas is what makes our hearts grow
three sizes larger.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at comcast.net

http://www.polarispublications.com
Be a star!

http://www.bpwmn.org
Business and Professional Women of Minnesota

I have always thought of Christmas time as a good time; a kind, forgiving,
charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of
the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up
hearts freely.
~Charles Dickens