TheBanyanTree: The relationship starts getting serious

[Monique]

Maybe it's been a long week. But the relationship has been heading this way
. . . so today I sent the bf this email: 

I bought you a present yesterday.

It may be too much, at this stage of our relationship. It may be
overwhelming for you. But I did it anyway.

Things progress in a forward fashion, which is why it's called progression
and not regression, which is another thing entirely.

To commemorate the progression of this relationship, I bought you a present.


It's nothing fancy. It's nothing expensive. It may not even be your size.
(I'm not sure yet if it is the right size at all, but that was irrelevant at
the time of purchase. Relevancy has its place, but it's not always
relevant.)

I can hope that upon receiving this present you do not run screaming into
the night, certain that I am laying an elaborate trap, not that I would know
how to do such a thing were I even of a mind to do such a thing, which I
most certainly am not, but there we go with the relevancy issue again.

You may be asking yourself what this present is. 

Go ahead. Ask yourself.

You don't know, do you?

Okay, I'll tell you. I'd leave it for a surprise, but I'm afraid the shock
of it would be too much all at once, so I'll let you know now, so you have
time during the day, assuming you get this email, to let the fact of this
present sink in.

Assuming you get this email at all because you don't have your laptop with
you of course. It's here.

Which brings me to your present. 

You now have your own network cable. 

That's right. Now both laptops can be online at the same time.

Wow. 

I know what you're thinking.

Wow.

Yes. You now have your own network cable. Here, where your laptop is at the
moment. (Next to mine.) 

Wow.

Of course, there is the possibility, however slight, that you won't get this
email today, in which case I shall break the news to you gently in person.
Or try to. At which time this entire email will become irrelevant in its
entirety, so if you've already received your present, please disregard this
entire email and pretend as if it never happened.




This email is subject to terms and conditions outlined in the Geneva
Convention. Take with water and do not overcook.