TheBanyanTree: Goes without saying, does that

[John Bailey]

Friday September 12, 2003

GOES WITHOUT SAYING, DOES THAT

It was a splendid, fine day for outside work so Graham pitched in like a 
good 'un. First job was to correct the height of the front door step, 
lifting it a couple of inches so that it's more of a normal small step 
rather than a giant leap. That was routine enough. Then came the task of 
creating a pedestal for Mr Rusty. The design is plain and simple, just a 
small brick pillar. The effect is astonishing.

"Well, there's grand for you," I said.

"Not too grand, I hope?"

"Oh, no. It makes a classic triangle composition with the box plants and 
when the climbers hide the fence it'll look real Victorian vicarage garden, 
just as we planned. Mind you, he'd look good in any number of different 
settings if ever we change our thinking on garden design."

And so, Mr Rusty, otherwise known as Zeus, otherwise known as Ozymandias, 
has found his home at last. I hope the garden birds will be kind to him, 
though a bit of weathering won't do any harm.

A little while later, as we were sitting in our nice kitchen, eating a nice 
lunch -- a nice baguette filled with a nice soft brie and sliced green 
grapes -- and looking out at Mr Rusty, resplendent in our nice garden, I 
said: "This is nice."

"Yeah. Perhaps it's too nice."

"How do you mean."

"Well, you know you were talking a while back about not wanting to bump 
along the bottom of the heritage housing market any more?"

"Yes?"

"Well, I've been thinking."

"Oh dear."

"Yes. I think that, when it comes down to it, we're far more bottom of the 
heritage housing people than we'd reckoned."

"And?"

"This place is too nice."

A long, long pause ensued, during which I damp-fingered the last crumbs of 
my baguette from the plate.

"You're right, of course. What do we do about it, then?" I ventured.

"Don't be silly. It's obvious. We'll have to move house."

"That'd be mad. We can't move house just because the one we've got is too 
nice."

"It's as good a reason as any. Nice is the newest naff."

"Stuff and nonsense. I've never heard anything so daft in all my life."

And that's how we decided we're going to move home again. Don't know when. 
Don't know how. Don't know where. But we've decided to move, and that's the 
end of it.

Some time later I said: "We'll have to take Mr Rusty with us, of course."

"Of course. Goes without saying, does that."


--
John Bailey   Carmarthenshire, Wales
journal of a writing man
<http://www.oldgreypoet.com>