TheBanyanTree: Wandering Through Wal*Mart

[Sponge Bob Walk Pants]

[More on the Hoedown later, I promise!]

So last night, Liz and I needed to get a new waterbed mattress and the only 
place to get one around here was a Wal*Mart about 15 minutes away. I 
promised Liz I'd stay with her till we got the mattress, because I have the 
annoying habit (for whoever's with me) of wandering through Wal*Marts 
looking at stuff.

Once the mattress was acquired, all bets were off. I told her I'd be in 
electronics, where we normally meet up. That was fine, except they didn't 
have anything interesting on sale.

So....only one thing for me to do, right?

I headed for stationary, because I am a stationary hog. Amazingly, Liz was 
there, too. So much for the wandering. She said she'd only be a few more 
minutes. I gazed idly at pens, patriotic pencils (God Test the USA?), and 
notebooks with the latest fads on them. I have to admit to being a bit 
saddened by the fact that I didn't recognize a lot of the stuff on their 
covers. It was comforting, however, to note that Garfield is still a 
popular choice.

Eventually, I ran out of stuff to look at. (I don't buy pens at Wal*Mart 
anymore--I found out I can get far more at the Dollar Store, where I can 
feed my addiction cheaply. I'm a practical addict!) I was going to turn 
back to Liz, when, out of the corner of my ever-ranging eye, I saw the 
Halloween aisle.

Well. Halloween is my absolute favoritist holiday. I simply HAD to see what 
was there, especially since I have an entire porch to decorate now!  I 
ranged through the costumes, laughing at the padded Hulk suits for the 
kids, noting the various make-up kits in case I need them later this year. 
The actual decorations were kinda sucky, though. The most interesting ones 
were motorized things, like a talking magic mirror or a crawling hand. 
They're all too expensive right now, but I may have to stop by when they're 
on clearance and see what I can get on the cheap. I almost got a small 
broom, but changed my mind. I did, however, get some cool orange lights to 
go with Liz's creepy purple ones.

At this point, I should have turned back. But where's the fun in that, I 
ask you?

Next up were posters. I don't have any up right now, and that's a shame. So 
I browsed, eventually selecting a Simpsons quote poster, that would later 
be postponed for another trip. By this time, I figure Liz HAS to be done 
looking at stationary/art supplies, right?

I swung back around, only to discover that she was in fact so done she was 
no longer there.

Oops.

Now, I will tell you that I looked for her, and it's true that I did. But 
the WHOLE truth of the matter, since I'm under Banyan Tree oath, is that I 
was secretly thinking about how this would be a great excuse to visit the 
toy department.

And so I did.

I'm not really into the models and big trucks and thing like that, but I 
love checking out the action figures section (to see what they've made into 
$6.99 cheap figurines) and, of course, the games.

The games section was my downfall. I crisscrossed the aisle, looking first 
at hand-held games (there's even Uno now, where you play against computer 
opponents), then board games, and back again. I was tempted, but resisted 
the urge to get the hand-held football game that my friend Matthew had when 
we were best friends. This was mostly due to the fact that I apparently 
suck at it, after several tries.

Most of the board games were old standards or things I never particularly 
liked. I see they've changed the cover for "Clue" for like the 10th time 
since I was 10. I can't figure out if they're getting bad marketing returns 
or are just hoping people will keep buying copies, thinking they're "new" 
or something. I mean, what was wrong with the cover where the suspects all 
posed, Agatha Christie style, looking very guilty? Oh well. Lord of the 
Rings chess and Risk might be worth keeping an eye out for, if the price 
were right.

Finally, it was time to check out the card games. I love card games. I 
could play them for the rest of my life and never get tired of them. My 
favorite memories of--oh God, I almost called my dad's family my 
"in-laws"--being at Dad's parents' house was when we'd clear off the dining 
room table and play a card game or three. I grabbed three games that looked 
interesting to me, and decided to see what Liz thought.

Of course, I'd have to find her first.

I swung back to the stationary, to see if she was looking for me. No go. 
Ditto electronics. This wasn't looking good. The Wal*Mart had a grocery 
store attached, so if I had to do an aisle-by-aisle search, it could take 
awhile. Luckily, I found her in a main area, giving me the "okay, where 
were you?" look that I most definitely deserved.

We narrowed our purchases down, rejecting one card game and the hand-held 
Uno that had mysteriously found its way into my hands. (For those 
interested, we took home Rook and Swap, a game similar to Uno but with more 
interaction.) Trying to leave the store, we found a generic set of 3 games 
(Perfection, Guess Who?, and Connect Four) for $5, and that simply had to 
be ours.

Finally, it was time to go home. There were cats to feed and sleep to be 
had. After all, you can't wander though Wal*Mart forever, can you?

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Rob McMonigal
twainfan at earthlink.net
http://www.livejournal.com/users/trebro
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CHEESEQUAKE!
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