TheBanyanTree: Finding God

[SpiritRose]

Someone once asked me how I find God.  I Guess that is the million dollar question and everyone has a different answer. My answer was simply this, I don't.  I honestly don't know where to look to find God. All I know is that wherever God is, whenever I think I am finally down for the count and I can't go on anymore God seems to be there...
        One day I was rushed to the hospital unexpectedly, with abdominal pain, high fever a lot of the same problems I had when had I first become ill.  This just wasn't supposed to happen again!  Here I was back in the hospital, 2 hours away from my family and friends, and in pain. I was very very angry, discouraged and depressed.  For weeks I felt as if I were drowning in a sea of despair and hopelessness.  I seemed as if I was never going to get better.  I didn't have the strength, energy or the courage to fight. I shut down. Not only physically but  mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well. I had always been a strong person, a fighter, one who could hold her own and now I just couldn't do it anymore, I was giving up.   

Then one day I voice from the doorway of my room called my name. 
In walked an older woman, she said her name was "Sister Someone," and she was from "somewhere" in the hospital and that "I" was on her list. She  had been trying to "find" me for the past week but everytime she came to the room I was away having tests done.   {I found the fact that I was on a catholic nuns list interesting since I am not catholic and I knew the protestant chaplain } She sat and talked with me for about 15-20 min. All I remember of the conversation is her asking me something about the Catholic High School in the city where I live, which I knew very little about, but what I recollect more than anything is how I began to feel while we talked.  

I felt found.   

For the first time in weeks I felt at peace. I felt a sense of rightness and that everything was going to be ok. That I was going to be ok. Things were going to get better. That black cloud that had enveloprd me suddenly seemed to be gone. I felt lighter and freer. Before she left she asked if she could bless me. Now, maybe for you out there who are Catholic this is normal but for a protestant to have someone ask if they can bless you it is downright peculiar. Somewhere deep inside of me I knew that this person was  God. 

 God, in the sense that I believe God sent her to me. This person was an angel who came and ministered to my poor, dying, sick, spirit and body. My sense of self returned and the healing process of the body, soul, and spirit began. All because when I was at my weakest and frailest God remembered me and found me just in time.  

"Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now I'm found..."

May your days and nights be filled with joy and laughter

              <>>>>>>>>>>---------B

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
~~Helen Keller~~ 

"You gain strength, courage & confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself; I lived through this horror, I can take the next thing that comes along...You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
~~Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
    You learn by Living (1960)
Visit, The Realm of SpiritRose at
http://www.geocities.com/spiritrose42.geo


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