TheBanyanTree: New Birth, New Path

Thu Jun 5 05:39:15 PDT 2003

Journal Entry, June 5, 2003:

Is a Shaman Death the same as a re-enactment or carry over, from a past life? If it is, then June 3, 2003, I have died the most powerful death yet to this day in my over 40 years of living in this vessel. This day, my friend has now killed me in the exact same way she did hundreds of years ago. But today, I saw it, felt it in every aspect, no time to shield myself, and am still trying to cleanse and heal my body. Today, I relived a past life on the day she killed me.

We were talking on the phone, she wasn't happy, I could feel it but couldn't tell what was going on with her. She seemed so unfocused. That was not like her. So I thought if I joked around with her a little to break the ice, she would come out of it. That was not to happen. She snapped. She started saying so many hurtful things, with anger, hatred, evil power that without warning, I was unable to move. As the phone was still to my ear, her voice became muffled as I heard the rush of air and saw the wooden stake being driven straight through my heart and out the back of my body. Within that wooden stake, I could feel and see every aspect of hatred she was holding inside of her which helped her make this stick of death.

I remember, the state of confusion, puzzled thoughts, I was paralyzed. All of a sudden my chest cavity started getting warm, then hot as this rush continued down my shoulders to the fingertips and down my legs. Then within seconds the pins and needles were all the way through my entire body and then, I was ice cold. I shook with chills. My first thought in a confused mind, was, she just killed me. I was dead.

I don't know how much time passed by before I heard her ask if I was still there, maybe only minutes. I said, "Wow- that-hurt." Still not knowing exactly what had just happened to me, I said to her I had to go cover a story and said, "Later" and hung up the phone.

I immediately crumpled into my chair and broke down. I was freezing cold, the goose bumps were all over my body as I looked to the sky and cried for help. I summoned, Creator, my angels, my animals, my guides, my family, anyone that could help me. I started cleansing the sludge that I was covered with or was it my blood. The angels came first with white linens to wrap around my heart as they pulled the stake out, Creator sent his white and gold light down through the center of my head and surrounded my body with a protective shield, as the animals and angels continued to wrap my body with the linen for warmth and healing. My guides stood by observing. My animals were frantic. I could see my friend trying to get to me, but Creator made the protective bubble stronger and less transparent. She quickly disappeared from my sight. I was finally safe.

For an hour, I sat motionless and let everyone do their work on me, while my heart pounded heavy and my body temperature tried to warm up to normal. I was crying and shaking and still in a state of confusion every step of the way.

Since that death scene, I have been cleansing every chance I get. The sludge that has come out of me is overwhelming. My angels delivered me a new heart last night, they stayed awhile longer and cleaned out some of my arteries, lungs and other areas that needed help. There was nothing left to the old heart. It has been scary. I felt EVERY aspect of death through my body. I now know exactly what I am going to feel like when I die. 

I went to see my daughter yesterday. I wasn't sure how I would be able to tell her, because she is being taught by this woman. I want her to still learn from her but at the same time, be guarded. When I was done speaking, she said she was sorry she didn't tell me sooner. She began to tell me of her knowledge of this. The man that had gifted me with my name Crow Woman, had told her about myself and my friends confrontation long ago. They had discussed that maybe they should not bring it up because it was a past life and that it probably wouldn't happen again. But my daughter never forgot the story and always kept it tucked away and hoped that it was a lesson that my friend learned in her past life not to repeat. My daughter began to tell me what she knew:

Hundreds of years ago, this same female made an alliance with the enemy. In order for her to prove herself, her orders were to kill me. I was a threat. We were close friends, close knit, we were both strong women but more powerful when we were together. I was a threat to the enemies. They wanted me gone.

So she arranged to meet with me as we have done so many times before, after all, we were best friends. I could sense she was unbalanced but didn't think anything of it. I thought if I passed it off and laughed and joked she would soon come to focus. As I turned my body around to look into her eyes and speak, my life ended at her very hands at that very moment. She had a wooden hand made stake, sharpened and pointed on the end, about three inches in diameter. She, with such force and power drove it through the center of my heart coming out my back. She had just proved herself to the alliance. The story says she received her comebacks in the end. I'm uncertain of how. Further more, it is not important, for I am not the one she will have to answer to.

My future plans are, my things that I have made for her shop will remain there. If they sell, I would like the money. If they don't sell, I do not want them back. I see them covered with blood spatters, my blood. I will call to the angels again to see if they can clean them away so that if someone does buy them, they will not be tainted with the battle that has happened. I gave her a check for a raven mask that she made out of a gourd. I would like my money back someday. I do not want the mask anymore. I feel that has now been marked as a death mask from her. She is not to be trusted by me anymore. If by some chance I will have to see her, I will be wearing a shield of mirrors, so that anything she sends my way will reflect back to her. I want nothing from her only the money due to me. I will sever all ties from this woman. I am closing the door. For Creator has already opened a new one for me to enter.

I am moving onward with faith, hope, trust, belief. Once bitten, twice shy. I say here and now, I'm done. Good-Bye, Be Well, May God's White Light always surround you, protect you and keep you safe and from harm. I Love You. Thank You.

Da-Na-Ho (I have spoken)

Koga-a-ge-ha Crow Woman

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.remsset.com/pipermail/thebanyantree-remsset.com/attachments/20030605/12ac079d/attachment.htm>