TheBanyanTree: Incident upon adjusting the covers

[Tobie Shapiro]

July 25, 20000003


Dear Fellowpeople,

	I am still here.  It's just been ....  well ... thick.  And 
rather than bore you with how thick it's been and why and the 
ingredients of the thickness.  I'm going to bore you with something 
else.  I found this in the big (thick) binder that I push before me 
and drag after me wherever I go.


Monday June 16, 2003

	It's 11:24, p.m., and I'm lying in bed on my stomach, ready 
to write down the day, when I make the mistake of adjusting the 
covers.

	A plume of greasy fart gas clouds slithers out from between 
the sheets, then drools upward into the room, where it hovers and 
explodes suddenly, shattering the head board into a million 
splinters.  Foam rubber everywhere splattered on the walls.

	The fire department had to come to put out the inferno.  This 
was their first chance to use their all new hyper wing ding SWAT 
flatulence unit equipment.  A three ton vacuum pump filled with dry 
ice and animal tranquilizers, which they slapped on David's ass 
within three seconds of breaking down the door.  (feel door before 
opening.  if it is hot, do not open door.)

	They sprayed the whole room in front of them as they 
approached.  You could just see the fart particles freeze in mid air 
and clank to the ground, never to burn again.  They sucked up at 
least two 50 gallon canisters of the smoky grey frozen fart pellets 
to cart back to their Flatu-Lab®, where they'll remain in suspended 
animation until a cure is found.  I suppose at that same time, 
they'll repair David's tuchas and hand it back to him on a plate.

	But in the meantime, what am I supposed to do with my life?


Tobie

-- 




Tobie Helene Shapiro
Berkeley, California   USA

tobie at shpilchas.net