TheBanyanTree: I looked for you . . .

[Monique Young]

And there you were, looking for me, in another city, another country,
almost, I might say, another time. But it was not another time, it was now,
both of us looking for the other. My transitional phase had passed, ending
as it needed to (showing me the chaos I most certainly do not need), and
suddenly, there you were.

We think we might be in trouble. We can't know that yet of course, we can't
know anything other than what we feel immediately. That is how it is with me
though, I'm not one for long semi-involved courtships, typically regarded as
the sensible approach. I feel it immediately, and so do you. We are in the
moment, you and I, and it is perhaps good for us both that you are there,
almost 3 hours away, and I am here.

You need what I have, and I need what you have. It is that simple, yet it is
not. It is more complicated, as these things always are. There is no
accounting for it; there is no reasoning with it. It is what it is. It is
mysterious how you found me, as I languidly dealt with other potential
suitors, none of them seeming right. There are a thousand reasons why not,
none of them sufficient in themselves. At a concert last night, before I met
you, on what was apparently meant to be a blind date that I was unaware of
(blind, deaf, and dumb I can be), I knew I was in the wrong place. I danced,
when asked, finding release in the activity, a peace of sorts, but I still
knew I was in the wrong place. The wrong time. The wrong people.

And then, later, there you were. And as we chatted I could see you, but you
could not see me. And it was good. I could see how I made you laugh by what
I said, and it makes me laugh. We said goodnight, again and again, the sort
of instant connection that frightens while it heals. I knew you were from
somewhere else, not even the country where you live, and you are, you're
from Holland.

This is how it goes. Sometimes I intuit things about people, like I once
intuited that Orvis had fathered a child. Of course, your name rather gave
it away anyway, but I like to claim my intuition is excellent. I intuit a
peace about you, a peace I seek as I once looked for chaos to match the
chaos that was all I knew.

What happens next is still a mystery of course. The answers lie in the
unfolding of the tale, a story that we create or discard as unmanageable. It
is up to us.


Batman