TheBanyanTree: Master and Commander

[Margaret R. Kramer]

My grandsons came over the other day just when I finished pulling out my
boxes of Christmas decorations from the crawl space.  Good timing, huh?  I
was looking forward to decking the halls with my favorite Christmas music on
the stereo, but no such luck.

“I want to help you decorate,” the older one announced.  His little fingers
were twitching to open those boxes.

“OK, you can help, but you have to follow one rule.”

“What’s that, Grandma?”

“The one rule is that I’m in charge.  I’m the one who tells YOU what to do
and YOU have to listen to ME.  It’s the rule that applies to all Christmas
decorating – that 99% of the time WOMEN are in charge and everyone else has
to do what they’re told.”

Most of this went over his four year old brain.  He heard “I’m in charge,”
but that didn’t mean much to him, because he knew by the time he went home,
he would be the one in charge anyway.  It always works out that way.

But he was getting his first life lesson of Christmas.  Women generally are
in charge of the holiday.  We stand at the center of December and decide how
the holiday season will be orchestrated.

For some of us, conducting the Christmas orchestra can start as early as
Halloween.  We might buy our cards, or at least start thinking about them.
We might begin to buy or at least plan our Christmas shopping strategies.
We do this without consulting our families, because in these areas our
decisions are always the right ones.

But when the physical work of Christmas begins, we have to enlist help.  But
our “help” can offer no opinions, they can’t take any initiative to do
anything on their own, and they have to be ready to silently complete any
task assigned to them.

So the boys and I began decorating.  For the most part, they accepted the
one rule.  They put things where I wanted them to.  They offered opinions,
but I ignored them.  In a few years, they’ll learn their opinions don’t
matter.

While we were working the cellophane off the new candles, I managed to read
“How the Grinch Stole Christmas” to them.  I was so proud of the little one,
he managed to get the cellophane off of his candle all by himself, although
he didn’t listen to the story.  How is he going to appreciate good Christmas
stories if he doesn’t listen?!!!

I knew the older one would venture off and do his own decorating scheme.  I
had a bunch of fake evergreen garland that I wasn’t sure what to do with, so
he took that and began to decorate Saydi’s dog kennel (a large plastic cage
in the corner of the family room).  He slung the garland all over it and
then began accenting the garland with an assortment of red bows and pine
cones.  Martha Stewart would have been proud!

Of course, after he left, I took it all down, because first, he violated my
one rule by being independent, and second, by that time, I knew what I
wanted to do with the garland.

I was tired from the long afternoon of being my grandsons’ Christmas
commander, so when Ray came home from work, I gave one more command before
taking a nap.  I told him where I wanted the garland.  I didn’t tell him how
or why.  Just hang it up.

He did and he did it in a much more creative way than I would have.  I guess
it’s OK to empower my Christmas help once in a while.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at earthlink.net

http://www.polarispublications.com
Be a star!

http://www.bpwmn.org
Business and Professional Women of Minnesota

Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the
idle seashore of the mind.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow