TheBanyanTree: Are you there, love?

[Monique Young]

Romantic love exists as an ideal, a possibility, a wish, occasionally as a
reality. Do not give up; do not lose the innocence that supports romantic
love.

There is someone for everyone, and even more than that. There are
possibilities and combinations of someones, they are not restricted to just
one person per person. Soulmates exist in the mind, resemblances to who and
what we are mirrored in someone else so closely that we feel they are ours
alone. Even soulmates are not limited to one per customer, and finding a
soulmate is not guaranteed to bring long lasting happiness. Some are
soulmates that we cannot, for whatever reason, be with, some are those we
can spend a lifetime with. I do not discard my soulmates, but keep them
close to me, close to my heart.

Falling in love is a state of mind, a state of letting go, of trust and
faith and belief. Falling in love is easy; it’s feeling the ground beneath
give way, and trusting that the fall will not break us. It’s knowing that
even if we fall precipitously and dangerously, we will come out of it better
than we were. It’s knowing that the worst thing we can do is stop ourselves
from falling in love, from letting our feelings come to the fore. Being
loved is something each of us wants, and to let that get away from us, for
whatever reason, should be a sin. There’s too little love in the world as it
is.

Throw caution to the winds, cautiously. Give of yourself freely, but keep
back enough to keep yourself whole. Know that two people cannot unite to
form one, no matter how romantic it sounds. We are each of us a single
entity, and no combination of people can combine to form less than the
individual units. Even with our soulmates, we cannot be less than one alone.

Falling in love must be between two people, and not with one alone. Dear
Jan, do not let the past rule the future. Do not let disappointments weigh
you down with unanswered questions. Open yourself to the possibilities. Will
you find your soulmate? A soulmate does not guarantee happiness, so a more
important question may be, Will you find a person who makes you feel good?
Who will hold your heart tenderly and love you back with equal intensity? I
don’t know. But there is always the possibility, the idea, the chance.

If we discard the idea of just one perfect person for us, we find a world of
infinite possibilities. A stronger love is found when compromises must be
made, when two people can work together to find the best in the other and do
it with conviction. My advice is to love those you choose unconditionally.
This does not mean you should accept abuse or discomfort. Loving
unconditionally does not mean you relinquish control over your own
happiness. You can love unconditionally and still let the other go. You can
love unconditionally and still leave to seek your own happiness.
Unconditional love is also, like falling in love, a state of mind, of
acceptance and determination.

Seek and be found. Know that you are loved, by someone somewhere, and that
the world is full of possibilities waiting to be discovered. Love yourself
as you know you deserve to be loved, and your soulmate (or a reasonable
approximation thereof) will find you.


Batman



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