TheBanyanTree: Are you there, love?

[Jan Denke]

Does romantic love really exist?

Do people really *fall in love* or is it just a state of mind?

Do people really connect with the one person that was meant for them? If so, how come this doesn't happen for everyone?

Is there really someone for everyone?

Do soulmates really exist?

Once upon a time I used to believe in all these things...I used to be an incurable romantic...But everytime I've ever been *in love* has been the most painful time in my life...There was no joy or magic or wondrous wonder like the love songs and poems talk about...The feelings I had for the other person were never returned...I could only stand by and wonder what it would be like to have him look at me and smile at me in that certain way...

Finally out of desperation and the fear that I'd never find anyone, I settled for the first one who asked me to marry him...I tolerated his abuse for 26 years before I finally got up enough nerve to leave...The fear I had of being alone was so paralyzing for me...

So now I have to ask why have I been passed up and overlooked? Why haven't I been able to connect with my soulmate - the one person who was meant just for me? Or is all this romantic bunk just mind games that we all play with ourselves?

Jan
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